[deanCommie]

Happiness is a choice. Some of the most miserable people in the world are obscenely wealthy.

Happiness = Reality - Expectations.

You control your own expectations.

Generally, the American Dream of a massive house + massive car + isolated lifestyle away from friends and family is a/ not scalable to worldwide scale, b/ not the universal mode to happiness

[_8j50]

More like ignoring reality is a choice. You can live in miserable conditions and trick your mind to be happy and refuse to be affected by circumstances and be happy. Thay works out fine if happiness is your goal. But that also means you ignore reality and operate based on lies and self-deception. Why work to improve your situation or fix problems if you are happy as you are? I actually think too many people are happy when they shouldn't. I prefer to be angry, sad frustrated, anything so long it matches reality.

What is the big deal about happiness anyways? I have been happy, I have been miserable. The taste of truth and justice is sweeter. Not seeing your loved ones suffer and your precious time on earth wasted away are better goals than being happy for the sake of feeling good.

[tester756]

>I actually think too many people are happy when they shouldn't. I prefer to be angry, sad frustrated, anything so long it matches reality.

Doesn't sound healthly

[_8j50]

I can't imagine anything more healthy. Those are all valid emotions a healthy person should exhibit. Being happy when life is good and being sad when life is bad is healthy because you enjoy good things and times and allow yourself to be negatively affected bad by things and times so you can avoid or change them.

If emotions were a spouse being happy during bad times would be similar to being happy when your spouse is abusing you and enduring it. Isn't it more healthy to be negatively affected by it so you can change or exit the situation?

[KronisLV]

> ...so long it matches reality.

This is probably the important bit here!

One can probably talk about having a positive outlook being overall a good idea in life in many cases, but I'm also inclined to agree with you that experiencing the whole emotional spectrum when appropriate is also an enriching experience.

Just as long as you don't let certain emotions or feelings overwhelm you too much, e.g. getting used to being angry about something and focusing on it too much. Learning to let things go is probably also a useful skill, as is self reflection.

[_8j50]

I agree with this. The important thing is to rule your emotions instead of be ruled by them. Taking an active and dominant role in dictating your emotions so thay they align with reality.

[seper8]

Dude should read some Marcus aurelius

[teawrecks]

Ok, so how does your point tie back to the discussion? I don't think having a living quarters that doesn't flood during a storm is a very high expectation. Do you?

[svachalek]

That expectation reflects privileges that many if not most people in the world do not have.

[yunohn]

What, why? Floods can be prevented and it is fine to expect that we work towards that ideal. Nothing wrong about that.

[As_You_Wish]

No, this is not correct despite it being a modern day matra.

At least 50% of one's mood comes genetics. There's nothing one can do about that. There's just not.

Almost everyone knows this. You can have one child that is happy and cooing and very social at 3 or 6 months old, and another child that cries, doesn't like people, and unhappy. We all know this. It's not like the infant is choosing to be happy or sad at 3 months old. It's genetics. For sure.

One could say that since 50% is genetic, that 50% of a mood is under one's control. Well, having 100% happy genes plus a good happy outlook on life and choices is a LOT easier than only 50% unhappy. Because no matter what, even if a 50% "not good mood person" tries to be happy, there is always that 50% "not happy" part that is always there. Waiting. Looking for it's chance to move in. Happy people don't have that.

Also, on another note, there are all kinds of mood disorders. Major depressive disorder (MDD), Bipolar I, Bipolar II, Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), Cyclothymic disorder, Disruptive mood dysregulation disorder, Persistent depressive disorder, Premenstrual dysphoric disorder. These types of mood disorders follow one through life, too. Can be ok for a while, then boom, depressed and you can't help it.

There is no way that people with mood disorders can choose to be happy. Just no way.

>the most miserable people in the world are obscenely wealthy.

I am personally convinced that all the studies that show that obscenely wealthy people are miserable is that all the studies were paid for by billionaires and published by their astroturf groups. These "studies" are published in the media that the billionaires own, saying how miserable they are. Because that will help prevent the actual miserable poor people from rising up and doing a French Revolution gullontine number on the very rich.

Mr. Billionarie says: "You think you have it bad, Mr. Working-two-jobs-at-federal-minimum-wage-of-$7.50?? You got it great! I have BILLIONS of dollars and boy am I miserable. I mean, I KNOW that I have cool cars, my own private jet, a different supermodel every night, but man-oh-man that is so much worse than you not being able to afford basic healthcare for your 3 children and one of them dies from an easily preventable disease. You are so much better off than me!!!"

Anectdotal stories on how the rich are so miserable don't really do it for me.

This is more like actual reality: https://www.businessinsider.com/study-shows-money-can-buy-ha...

82% of the wealthy were happy, while 98% of the poor were unhappy

87% of the wealthy were happy in their marriage, while 53% of the poor were unhappy

93% of the wealthy were happy because they liked or loved what they did for a living, while 85% of the poor were unhappy

0% of the wealthy were unhappy due to finances, while 98% of the poor were unhappy

.

Wait...are you a billionaire???