[mellosouls]

What sucks all the air out is people demanding perfectly normal social behaviour be banned for puritanical and controlling reasons.

To be clear, I'm not implying that's your motivation but just as there are bad extremes in the behaviour of some attendees and organisers, so are there extremes in the gatekeeping and sensitivity of others. Both are regrettable.

[musingsole]

> To be clear, I'm not implying that's your motivation

Then why say it? Comes across to me like a "no offense but..."

Well, offense taken.

I'm not puritanical and neither are the clubs I was referring to. However, American culture is so puritanical that they can't even think straight about sex -- can't even talk about and don't know how to get it.

And so idiots (all of them) end up at my tabletop clubs, my hiking clubs, my movie clubs, my woodworking clubs, and then chase someone's butt the whole time.

That makes it really uncomfortable for everyone else and also usually uncomfortable for whoever's butt is being chased. And then a club has to spend social energy creating a Code of Conduct and wondering who will enforce it.

Horndogs need not apply.

[mellosouls]

I agree with the observation on more general cultural puritanism and lack of options for males - as pointed out elsewhere in these comments - which means meetups are better choices for improving social networks.

That doesn't excuse idiocy and horndoggery but social networking (and by extension improving dating chances) is a perfectly valid and ethical path to take beyond the advertised scope of the group.