[devonallie]

First and foremost, take a deep breath. I'm in a very similar position that you are (23 y/o, interest in CS, for-longing the time spent on fruitless efforts) which I hope brings you some relief. What I've learned is that aspiring to focus every moment to a point is a fools errand. Time will escape you in which case, congratulations you've just had fun! I've also learned that dwelling on actions past almost never results in better future action. Ask yourself if what you do now is of benefit to future goals and move from there. There are no refunds.

But that time was spent making you there person you are today. The skills, perspective, and ambitions that grew from what you "wasted so much of my life on" makes you whole. Learn to accept that because there is no goal oriented outcome that will relieve you. Today you lament leisure and not study, tomorrow you reverse.