[silisili]

You make a lot of good points.

You're right about demotivating/incentives...it's what in the end kept her from working. She wanted to work part time while raising the kid...we sat down and talked cost of another car, marginal tax rates, etc...and decided we'd lose a ton of money by going that route.

It really depends on your relationship. If I am controlling the money, giving allowances, then yeah that would be bad. I'm not, we both have credit cards we are free to use and is what we pay for everything with. For any large purchases, we discuss together before touching cash.

There are a lot of different dynamics between people and how they set up finances. Doing allowances for both parties is fine, if that's what you prefer. But realize it's just that - personal allowances. In the end, you both own half the total pot, no matter how you pretend to divy it up.