[Thespian2]

When we started dating (over 20 years ago) my now wife and I had "yours, mine, and ours" piles of money. Our salaries went into our own accounts, each month we contributed a chunk to "ours" and paid for combined stuff from there.

Once we got married, we became a single financial entity. It's all "ours". Now I'm the salary person and she does way more labor than I do being the primary kid-care person. We help and support each other, and the family, together.

If you really are committed partners, let the ego go. Accounting who earned what may have a place in early relationships, but as others have said, is just exhausting.