[hello_marmalade]

What is it with people who don't drink being particularly disparaging about people who do and how and why they use it?

"depending on alcohol for team building sounds like the worst idea ever.

i don't want to be friends with people if their ability to develop friendship depends on alcohol. actually, i find it deceptive. i want to be friends with the real person. not the drunk person. it's dishonest. it's telling me that this person doesn't actually like me, and it's only the alcohol that makes them friendly. for an introvert who already has difficulty trusting people and making friends, this makes it worse, because it's a friendship that can't be trusted."

People aren't "depending" on alcohol, they're using it. Getting wasted is not a requirement of drinking alcohol. Alcohol reduces inhibitions. In small amounts it's enough to make a person feel less like they're going to sound stupid if they try to talk to new people. It's not deceptive any more than not opening up to others because you're anxious is "deceptive".

You are not better than other people because you don't drink.

[em-bee]

i don't have a problem with my friends who drink (or anyone else) (as long as they don't get drunk, but that never happened when i was around so i have no practical experience with that).

i have a problem if someone claims that they can't talk to me or they can't enjoy our time together unless they had a drink.

the possible reasons why you can't talk to me makes me uncomfortable.

Alcohol reduces inhibitions. In small amounts it's enough to make a person feel less like they're going to sound stupid if they try to talk to new people.

yes, and that seriously bothers me. do you think that i don't feel uncomfortable talking to new people?

this creates an imbalance. now you are comfortable because you had a drink, and i am still not because i won't or can't. that doesn't work. now you are no longer able to sense my discomfort because you don't sense your own.

if we are both equally uncomfortable we could find a way to deal with that. instead i have to face your uninhibited self and feel like i want to run away.

some people are naturally less inhibited. that can be difficult, but if they are perceptive and considerate it can work out. i fear that alcohol also makes you less perceptive, so that is unlikely to work.