[likeabbas]

You're trying to generalize that all people who don't want deeper work relationships experienced this enlightenment in the same exact way as you. That's pretentious imo. There's plenty of arguments to be made for why people aren't gaining deeper relationships with those they work with, and your case does not account for everyone's.

[kelseyfrog]

Ok, I specifically hedged with "a lot of us" rather than "a majority" or "all" or "universally."

You're perfectly within your right not to be a part of this group. I'm not trying to force you to take on a label or view that doesn't correspond to your experience. There's room for a plurality of explanations.

I'd be happy to read your experience if you're willing to share :)

[likeabbas]

Just saw this.

My experience with work friends is that companies that foster social environments will have more people who are closer together. My first SDE job was at a medium size company that didn’t pay very well but it was a lot of fun. Bi-yearly all hands meet ups at a resort, tons of office happy hours, monthly outings within your own city. I made good friends there.

Then, when I moved to Amazon for the higher paying job, they have such a soul draining culture that it’s impossible to be very social. You’re more worried about doing better than your peers than you are working with them to build a better product.

My current job is completely remote so there’s no social aspect.

So, I disagree with your sentiment. I don’t think people want to be less social. Sure, maybe people are becoming less social in general, but I think overall it’s just tech companies are less likely to harbor good social environments.