probably something like "hey, it looks like updates haven't been installed on your corporate laptop in the last three months. Please fix that or we're going to ban it from our systems."
My company "allows" USB sticks but they will encrypt any files on it with key tied to that machine. Had a tech updated a config file when after this was silently rolled out and poof line down for the day as it couldnt be used to reimage systems on the embedded pcs.
We keep the monitoring to as minimal as needed to meet that requirement.
If your workstation stops checking in, or tells us your workstation doesn't comply then we will ping you to fix it.
It's always polite: Your machine is reporting X please fix that.
E: I should point out that our monitoring doesn't involve wifi like the person you replied to.