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by ultramegachurch 1405 days ago
Yeah, this hits home. I'm only 28 but can feel my life becoming more and more predictable and stagnate. At the same time, I'm too afraid and money-conscious to make any bold changes (e.g., quit my job, start a business, go back to school, live in a van for a year, do something weird with my life). This is an incredible source of anxiety and depression.

I've started therapy and have made some progress. If I can become less anxious about money, I think I'll be able to find sustainable happiness. But I know this will be a lifetime struggle.

5 comments

At 29 I took a year off everything and traveled. One thing I've learned in the decade+ since is that every year that goes by makes it harder to do. If you're feeling the itch just do it. You'll have a lot of years in your career so don't think you're missing out on anything -- assuming you're able to make the finances work.
Just realize that you can be fired at moment from your job and have trouble (if economy) to find a new one. You'll realize how fragile your current situation is, and going through a rough experience will be worth it (to figure out how to make your future more anti-fragile).

Of course most people go through it the hard way (firing, divorce, etc...) But I don't suggest you do it now, but if you are not saving any significant money from your current job you might as well just leave.

The way I think about stability is that it's actually how I can not stagnate. Stagnation comes from going around in circles trying to fix the same problems over and over again. Stability allows me to make incremental progress over a long period of time toward my dreams.

Love that you started therapy. Feel free to reach out to me (email in bio) if you want to chat about this in general.

Some people would suggest that you could work on meeting someone and starting a family. (So you can move on to the next struggle!) Preparing myself for this and figuring out how to renounce partying was in fact meaningful for me as I transitioned to my thirties. This clearly isn't for everyone though.
careful with therapy which ends with acceptance of wage labor (or other oppressive institutions which wind you back into wage labor), maybe think on that a bit given your skillset as an HN visitor