[Dracophoenix]

One note on small towns: most of the people there aren't transplants, so you get their culture with them. American cities have a reasonably standardized culture, courtesy of hundreds of daily direct flights to each other. Small towns are still highly regional. Not saying there's no difference between Seattle and Miami. But most people on HN could find a social group in both. Not so for Muleshoe, Texas.

> But be prepared that west coasters are different from you, potentially in important ways that affect your ability to find a sense of belonging.

Can you elaborate on this point?

[mitchellst]

Values - status is built on the east coast by affiliation—to family, to schools and universities, to political groups, to elite employers. Status is built on the west coast in an anti-establishment way, mostly prizing creativity and individualism. (Though, the lefties of them would consider that a dirty word. If you call them "indie" it's a compliment, though.) That applies to lots of art and music, but I suspect the whole hacker ethos of the Internet and "10x engineer" tropes are related.

Dress and Appearance - follows suit. The west coast has very little sense of "dressing for the occasion." Things like neck tattoos and large earrings are more common. I've been to things like polo matches and crew races on the east coast. Showing those pictures to friends in the west sometimes prompts outright laughter. They can't be _serious_, can they?

Conversation - east coasters name drop constantly. Especially rich ones, who feel they have lots of names to drop. But all of them, really. West coasters are more inclined to discuss land and the environment at length. (Politically, sure. But mostly just... experientially.) Lots of outdoor hobbies, yes. But more than that, too. My wife has a running joke that every time she encounters my family in a new place, at least one conversation ensues about which way is North, and how we know. She can't really play, doesn't see a reason to figure it out, and presumes that naturally all civilized places have their roads on a grid anyway. (Chicago native.)

This is, of course, an exercise in stereotyping. There are exceptions everywhere. But culture is also real and self-reinforcing, so the exceptions are just that—exceptions, not fully-baked countercultures, especially in small towns. There's a sliver of New York in San Francisco. But there isn't a sliver of New York in Bakersfield, just a few random guys wondering why they can't, for the life of them, get a decent bagel.

[ecshafer]

I totally disagree on your assessment of East coast culture, unless you are only spending time in basically wealthy, old money, blue blood type places. Which considering you mention polo and rowing, that is probably the case. The working class parts and middle class people in the East Coast don't name drop, and believe in more of having made it themselves.

[mitchellst]

Yes, there's inherently some stereotyping here. Any proposed detail will be subjective and find counter-examples. But for anybody who has crossed these lines, the core point is pretty undeniable: regional cultures are distinctive. Not everyone will feel like they belong in all of them. The differences matter.

I also don't mean to say there's some rank list of better and worse cultures. I've definitely been places I wouldn't want to go back to (howdy, west Texas) but that's subjective, to a point at least.

Totally fair about the selection for east coast blue bloods, though. Here's my subjectivity: I left my home in Idaho at age 15 and went to one of New England's oldest boarding schools. (and I've been hopscotching these regional lines ever since.) I've spent other time on the east coast, too, but that definitely formed my early notions of it.