[funklute]

> But it failed nevertheless. In fact, I was told by her that these notes put her in guilt. Weird.

I think you're missing some perspective here. You make it sound like you were the one really trying, and your partner is the one who was weird for not "getting it".

I would honestly be pretty freaked out if my partner wrote me daily poems for 400 days. It would come off as very needy and obsessive, and if it continued after me bringing it up, I could see it as a reason to break things off.

Of course some people might really like daily poems. But from what you wrote, it sounds a little like you've failed to read the room, and are now blaming others for that.

[Broken_Hippo]

I would honestly be pretty freaked out if my partner wrote me daily poems for 400 days. It would come off as very needy and obsessive, and if it continued after me bringing it up, I could see it as a reason to break things off.

Same. Occasional poem? I'm not necessarily a fan, but it is thoughtful and boy, does that thoughtfulness go a long way. But daily is intense, and I'd much rather daily communication to be fairly direct and daily thoughtfulness being small things that are optional but nice (making me a cup of coffee when I'm groggily heading to the toilet in the morning, for example).

[3pt14159]

If my wife were the poem-writing type, I would love a poem a day for 30,000 days, let alone four hundred.

But paying attention to people when you give them something is very important. People are different. You may cringe at poems, but I love them. I brought one that someone else wrote for me on my first date with my now wife. We talked about getting married on our first date it went so well.

So I guess what I'm also trying to get at here is that your contribution of your opinion to the conversation may be valid, but it's more kind if it's not so universal as to be judgemental, since mamoriamohit may take it quite personally even though there is a kernel of useful information in what you're saying.

[throwoutway]

> I brought one that someone else wrote for me on my first date with my now wife.

Why would you bring a poem someone wrote you to a first date?

[3pt14159]

It's kinda a long story, but there is a semi-well known poet in Toronto that writes poetry for hire and she works near a park that we both walk by with some frequency.

I described how I felt about the person I was about to go on a date with, but told the poet not to write directly about my date, but to use it as inspiration for a story of some kind.

I can't really describe how I knew it would go over well, but I knew it would. I try to tailor gifts to the person I'm dating, and I wasn't the type to usually bring something to a first date, but we had a ton of chemistry and I wanted to show how interested I was.

[em-bee]

i thought that poem was by a previous friend about you, but instead it was commissioned by you specifically for this date. that makes a lot more sense and is a rather lovely idea.

[3pt14159]

Aw, thank you :)

And I see the confusion about my previous response.

[corobo]

Yeah that sounds overwhelming. They better be consistently good poems too if you're pulling that move!

Imagine having to keep to yourself that you're not really into poems but your partner is doing this. It'd be heartbreaking to piss in those cheerios but how long could you keep it up?

Personally I'd have had to say enough with the poems already at day 6 or so

[onion2k]

If you read what the OP wrote;

"I was in a relationship for 2 years and have written a poem every day for 400 days straight to her."

2 years is a lot more than 400 days. Maybe the relationship failed because they stopped.

[smt88]

Read the comment again. The recipient clearly didn't like the poems, and yet he still wrote four hundred of them.

> In fact, I was told by her that these notes put her in guilt.

No healthy relationship has one partner who cares so little about the other's feelings that they do something 400 times without finding out if it's welcome or not.

[eCa]

Or perhaps they started on day 330.