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by lostNFound 1411 days ago
At 21 I’ve only recently started asking myself those questions, after having been “pushed” into a coding career due to some strange life circumstances, when I was actually interested in finance and medicine before. When I got promoted to Sr, colleagues going “wow, only 21”, it felt good, and I never even stopped to ask myself if I really wanted it.

In a lot of senses, introspection and thinking hurts; growing hurts, regrets hurt, dreams unfulfilled hurt, guilt hurts, what could’ve been hurt, and the future that awaits you, unless you change something, hurts.

And distraction numbs the pain. Numbs the thoughts. I’ll take an uneducated guess that a big chunk of cases of anxiety and depression are not caused by chemical imbalances, and are simply people’s brains telling them “you’re doing something wrong, correct course! Correct course! Correct course!”. Kind of like the aircraft TCAS/GPWS “Terrain. Pull. Up. Pull. Up. Terrain. Terrain. Terrain

I guess that most people, both around me and online, never ask themselves those questions, and simply go through life as it happens. For some, that doesn’t go so bad.

Almost never does a successful, happy, fulfilled, healthy life come from a lack of introspection and suffering. “I carry the wounds from the battles I avoided”.

2 comments

> I’ll take an uneducated guess that a big chunk of cases of anxiety and depression are not caused by chemical imbalances, and are simply people’s brains telling them “you’re doing something wrong, correct course!

I've seen people educated in the field saying the same thing. Depression is nature's way to prod you to make a change in your life. Something isn't working. So you're probably not wrong, at least for some fraction of cases.

This is what I believe. I wrote a book about it. A year of depression suddenly went away when I started to embrace my purpose further.
You're a very self-aware individual.

I think there are many lessons in stoicism, taoism, and buddhism that have helped me understand these concepts on an individual level. Here's an excerpt from a book I'm writing about this topic:

- Through Stoicism I found a sense of moderation, seeing the world for what it is and what it is not, and focusing on what I can control and having contempt for that which I cannot.

- Through Taoism I had learned to let softness overcome the hard, appreciate my uselessness, and to flow along when appropriate.

- Through Buddhism I had learned that my attachment would lead to suffering, appreciating the present moment, and how a trained mind leads to true happiness.

I believe that pain doesn't leave the body until it's done teaching you. I know it's not the most sensitive thing to say, but after a complete year of crippling depression, I felt it lift once I understood what it was trying to teach me.

Thanks. I’m just starting on a long road of self improvement which began this month, after a metaphorical train of realizations (in the shape of sudden depression/anxiety) regarding my life hit me once my girlfriend left me and explained why she did.

Those 3 points about those disciplines are really interesting, I’m going to have to read more about them.

>I believe that pain doesn’t leave the body until it’s done teaching you.

I’ve slowly been coming to the same conclusion over the last month, indeed.