[seba_dos1]

I believe it all boils down to being an artist working on a project you're passionate about. If I was forced to work on someone else's project that I don't really care about just to make a living, I'd probably simply execute my tasks to make sure I reach the expectations, and that's it. I'd strive to finish my tasks fast to have more time doing something I actually care about, be it a side project, hobby, family time or even just a walk in a park. However, when I'm a one-man orchestra doing a project where my main motivation is to see that project being done, it's actually getting hard to restrain myself from going into all those interesting rabbit holes that could easily postpone the completion of that project almost indefinitely. I find it hard not to hone my skills and dig into stuff to understand it in that setting.

(of course, when I was young it was easy for me to get passionate not about the project itself, but on mere technical aspects of work I was doing for someone else; this kind of motivation, however, doesn't last very long unless you're able to change your job often to keep it fresh and challenging)

What I deeply regret is that I struggle with writing about stuff I'm doing. There's a lot of interesting knowledge one acquires from such projects, but it often gets almost lost and only really lives on as a vague "experience" you can indirectly apply to your future projects. I would like to have my own experiences written down in such a neat way like in this post, not just for publicity, but also for my own personal needs when I want to go back to something I've done years ago. Usually, my attempts end with an unfinished, incomplete document that gets so out of date before completion that it's best to throw it out and start over, which of course doesn't happen until the memory of what I've done becomes foggy enough to make reminding myself what to write about a challenge on its own :( As it is right now, I'd struggle to describe the vast majority of my past passion work if anyone asked me about it; I'd need plenty of time and some "detective work" to reconstruct my memories.