[gleenn]

Something which my parents have a hard time grasping: we're at one of the first times in American history where children are doing less off financially then there parents. My parents met in the 70's where my dad was making a killing as a professional. He easily purchased a large house and got married and had two kids. Even with a FAANG job, I struggle to find any reasonable place to continue my career in a place where basements aren't $1M and I can continue my career. I know there are more affordable places to live but with by some estimates of 20% inflation I fear moving to somewhere in the midwest and never being able to return to my home state of California. Finding a wife has also proven to be very difficult, perhaps mildly attributable to not having a good starting place to begin a family, where they have good schools etc. My parents lived through the booming 70's and 80's and just won't get it.

[alar44]

I just can't have any sympathy for people who move to the most expensive places in the world and complain they're expensive. Get a different job elsewhere and you'll live like a fucking king if you have FAANG chops. Plenty of excellent places to live in the US that aren't SF, NYC, or LA.

[s1artibartfast]

Having been one of those people I do have a lot of sympathy but think you're right. Life is full of trade-offs. You can spend a lot of time doing nothing because there is no perfect option that meets all of your needs.

[gleenn]

I understand your sentiment, I could move with the tides, but I think my point (even if I'm somewhat stubborn) is that I don't think enough people point out how much harder it's gotten for everyone, especially for newer generations. I'm a very high earner yada-yada but I wonder how others who make more reasonable salaries are surviving at all here. And I think the kicker is just hearing older generations not really understanding how much better it was for them in the same location.

[AnimalMuppet]

But your "same location" is the location that had the single greatest inflation in housing costs in the country. You're drawing your conclusions from an outlier - the outlier, in fact.

[gleenn]

I think you're missing the point that it's the first time in American history that children have done worse iff than their parents in 200 years of history. Yeah, SF is expensive, but also everything is expensive. A lot more. Opportunities are not what they used to be. Housing is one part if it, but wages have severely stagnated, and costs of living have definitely increased.

[adamesque]

Parent says that California is their home state. Some people are okay with leaving home but many, many people like to stay close, even if that happens to be a HCOL place.

I dunno, a little sympathy goes a long way.

[alar44]

Not if you're earning a million a year. Figure it out. You can make 250k/year almost anywhere in the US and live lavishly. If people want to trade easy living for a cool hip city, that's their choice.

I've only been using HN for like a year, but some of the users here are living in a fucking bubble.

People in the Midwest can get by on $20/hr. Make a choice. Most expensive city, or, anywhere else. /Shrug

[taylodl]

You can live well anywhere in the U.S. making $250K per year, you're just not going to make that kind of money in most places in the U.S., even if you're FAANG-class material. I live in the U.S. Midwest and if you think housing is cheap here, think again. Oh sure, it's cheaper than NYC, LA and SF - no doubt. But in my town alone modest apartments in meh, not great, neighborhoods are now renting at $1,800 per month. By "modest" I'm talking about a 600 sq/ft two-bedroom townhome with no basement. Housing? Well, houses in the neighborhoods where people are getting violently murdered on a regular basis are going for $150K. If you want to live in a neighborhood where you don't have to lock 'n' load every time you leave your front door then it's going to cost you $300K. Oh, you wanted good schools too? That'll be $500K. That's in the Midwest.

But you're right, if you make $250K per year you'd live great here. You're just not going to make that kind of money around here. The going rate for experienced, good developers around here is roughly $120K per year. Inexperienced and you're looking at $80K. Granted, that'll give you a better quality of life than you would have working at a FAANG and living on the coast, but you're not going to be living lavishly.

[sneak]

> Plenty of excellent places to live in the US that aren't SF, NYC, or LA.

Not really, if you care for arts or culture. The cheap places are car-centric cultural wastelands.

[cudgy]

If the culture consists of people with a short-sighted mentality such as this, is it a culture worth living amongst?

Do you really think that art only exists in the biggest cities like SF, NYC, and LA? Where do you think most of those artists came from? BTW, the only non-car-centric city is NYC, but all large cities have older, usually midtown neighborhoods that are full of sidewalks, bus routes, nearby groceries, restaurants, bars and even (shocker) artistic venues.

Get out more and have an open mind; you would be pleasantly shocked at what is available out there.

[sneak]

Your comment seems to make some incorrect assumptions about me.

Could you perhaps name a specific cheap place in the USA that you believe is not a car-centric cultural wasteland?

[cudgy]

I already did. Certain downtown and midtown areas in towns and cities all across the country. Mainly you want a place with the necessities nearby like groceries, a few decent restaurants, a gym, and possibly a store that sells general items like a hardware store. This covers 80-90% of the need for a car. Take uber, a ride share, or reimburse a neighbor for the few times you need further transport. Many suburban areas of cities have areas like this too. Stay away from newly developed suburban areas though as they are indeed car wastelands.

[sneak]

You have not named any specific place in either of your comments, making your claims unfalsifiable.

[notch656a]

If you want a wife and kids working remote and a cheap place to live go to the third world (Philippines is good) and find somebody who wants a half-white kid and will sponsor your residence visa. You can live on like 5% of your salary and you're not going to have trouble starting family or finding a wife. Please don't pick the first bar girl you meet, maybe volunteer in a rural area or something.

Bring on the hate HN. Source: married to south east Asian foreign national.

[sneak]

Leaving the United States for somewhere better and cheaper while continuing your US-based software consultancy is a tried and true arbitrage strategy. It worked out great for me in my 20s.