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Perhaps I am wrong but I suspect they intended to suggest that the people with whom you've had negative experiences are the assholes.

> ... it's possible to enjoy learning without being an asshole about it

The perspective might be that the people asking off-base questions are being disrespectful by not bothering to understand what they would like to ask.

Anyway, if it helps: I do not think you were really being an asshole but I can see how a person might have thought that you were assuming others to be assholes.