[adepressedthrow]

I'm very happy you found something that works for you. What method of ketamine treatment have you been taking? I just stopped after 2 months of troches, which didn't seem to bring significant, if any, benefit.

Interestingly, I found myself abnormally susceptible to the psychedelic effects. When taking ketamine orally, the expectation is that most of the medicine is absorbed while you hold the troch in your mouth for 30+ minutes. After a lot of experimentation, I found that I barely absorb any medicine through my mouth, but once I swallow it I absorb it very rapidly. This made it difficult to control the delivery speed, and likely hindered my treatment.

I haven't been dealing with depression for anywhere near as long as you, but I do speak from experience about how terrible it is to not find anything that works. I've gone through ~13 of the most commonly prescribed drugs for depression, anxiety, and sleep, and none brought any relief. I've now tried and failed out of ketamine, which I was really hopeful for. Now I'm just back to sitting around trying to get _any_ doctor to actually see me and maybe get tested for various neurodivergent conditions.

[UI_at_80x24]

I was given IV treatment.

Every treatment had slightly different results, but only 1 offered me any kind of significant moments.

The most commonly repeated imagery was usually geometric patterns (usually in a glowing neon, accompanied with an EDM auditory hallucination as well), and old-fashioned TV static.

I refer to these sessions as 'brain rewiring'.

The singular significant moment was a quiet nothingness. All the voices stopped. All the inner talk stopped. I can best describe it as:

cat BRAIN >/dev/null

It was incredible, and the only true inner peace I have ever felt.