[marginalia_nu]

I'm kind of voting for "stop right there, criminal scum!"

If the greeting is going to be tonally inappropriate, why not go all in, right?

[nerdawson]

Windows used to have an error message that read “This program has performed an illegal operation…”. Your suggestion would have fit in perfectly.

[datavirtue]

My grandma called me in a panic for this one.

[grog454]

I kind of like the idea that someone who shouldn't be on my computer would also see that.