[hiptobecubic]

1 & 2 will likely only work once or twice before they are caught. Also the police refuse to do anything, so presumably calling them in won't help.

3 is a fun idea, but probably will get you violence'd.

4 will definitely get you violence'd.

5 seems unrelated. Are mafiosos trying to cultivate high scores on Google?

6 back to getting yourself murdered

7 honestly the only thing on here that might actually work. If the police are as incompetent as op describes, then maybe they won't even get caught.

Overall, good list. I like your style.