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The most important piece of information that you did not provide is.. do you have a partner? kids? If you do then I would suggest focusing more on the ADHD/depression angle, if not keep reading. Hi, this is also something I struggle with frequently. One thing I have realized is that we often are looking for "motivation", like there is some kind of hidden philosophical epiphany we just need to unlock and them boom we would be in gear. It doesn't exist. Yet, then how do so many seem to have it? Well.. because they have found themselves in circumstances which force behavioral change. Marriage, having kids, being in a stressful on demand job... these force you to change your behaviors and environment. For those that can't find those things or they don't come naturally, it becomes incredibly challenging to force yourself to change you behavior. I bet you know what you want to be doing.. you want to be spending a few hours a day making your game, you want to be working harder at work to advance your career, you want to be learning new things, you want to be exercising and eating better. It is not a question of motivation or trying to find some hidden secret to life (that is better then have a wife and kids). At the end of the day, humans respond best to structure and obedience, even if you don't consider your personality to mesh with that. If life itself has not forced you into the behaviors you want (also realize that for many people it has.. they haven't found the secret to life either) then you need to force them. Thus, I would suggest you do one of two things: realize you need someone else to force you, and spend your time looking for a partner with plans of having a family. Do everything you can to make that happen (diet, exercise, go to therapy to help with social anxieties, go to meetups and dating events). Your other option, is to force yourself to make the changes. You need to change your behaviors. Cleaning your home (and being very strict about it), exercising for 15 minutes a day, doing duo-lingo for 15 minutes a day, eating a proper breakfast everyday, playing a single game of chess a day, reading a tough philosophy book for 15 minutes every day, etc, etc. The key is to keep trying new things and stay consistent. It is possible to build routines and hobbies even when in depression, it just takes a small amount of effort and a ton of self discipline. Do this for a few months and while your life may not be changed in the ways you want, while you may not find your motivation, you will 100% change the way you think about life. Humans are not complicated, we need structure, we desire to be obedient. Most people find that structure in social life (family, friends, significant other) and don't realize just how crucial is to their happiness and motivation. If you can't find it from others, you need to force it yourself. What you can't do... is wait around hoping for something to provide that structure... because no amount of positive thinking will give you it. |