[throwaway4bid]

thank you.

my case is kind of special, since I also have a progressive genetic disorder that's led to me being disabled. it affects me in some of the ways that I "want", but not as completely as I'd like, and causes other issues I never wanted at all.

I attempted to integrate like you suggest, shifting my BID towards the direction of my newfound disability. mostly using cognitive reframing, acceptance/commitment therapy, and working at the peripheral issues like imposter syndrome, shame, grief.

I feel much less shame now, and I'm able to use BID as a coping mechanism for my physical condition, but the darned dysphoria is still present.