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I have this condition (Body Integrity Dysphoria), along with a fairly intense physical disability that I did not choose (genetic disorder), and along with being trans, so I can answer any questions you'd like to ask. I became aware of my BID at age 6. I specifically want paralysis, which is ironic now that I'm showing neurological symptoms from the genetic condition. There is a sexual component for me, but it's not my main motivation, and the sexual aspect has reduced as the pure dysphoria intensifies. The physical dysphoria is fairly similar to the gender dysphoria I've experienced, but the social aspects, identity and tradeoffs are completely different. I've tried antidepressants, therapy including traditional psychoanalysis, IFS, CBT, ACT, etc. Nothing has put a dent in the dysphoria, only helped me move on despite it. I know two people who've successfully achieved their disability, and they're much happier now. I would if I were not so terrified of the risks of DIY. |