[ebjaas_2022]

I think the difference is that an autistic person will see reality like this:

  |   O                                  O   |
  | -----  ( inner landscape (fact) )  ----- |
  |   |                                  |   |
  |  / \                                / \  |

While the non-autistic person will see it like this:

  |   O                                                            O   |
  | -----  ( inner landscape (fact) ) ( inner landscape (fact) ) ----- |
  |   |                                                            |   |
  |  / \                                                          / \  |

The non-autistic person will always assume that there are two inner landscapes at play, in any given social situation, two versions of reality, if you will, and two sets of facts. And they will assume that the other person sees it in the same way: They will assume that the other person also allows for two versions of reality, and two sets of facts.

The autistic person will, instead, view it as if there is one big unified shared reality between him and the other person, and one true fact, in any given situation. He will also assume that the other person sees it in the same way as himself.

The "double empathy problem" is that neither of them can see how the other person views the world. The non-autistic person cannot comprehend that the autistic person sees a single shared reality, and a single fact. Likewise, the autistic person cannot comprehend that the non-autistic person sees two different realities and two sets of facts.