[2-718-281-828]

one way to look at it might be realizing that people mostly don't judge you but a stereotype they project onto you. or simply have their judgement clouded by their mood. with a bad mood seeking for people to judge badly and good mood seeking to judge people positively. also what they judge about you is often more telling about what is going on with them and their life, so at the end of the day most people judge themselves. in all meditation practices the goal is to stop judging and instead observe - for a good reason - it's healing b/c then you also stop judging yourself all the time.

[kelseyfrog]

> people mostly don't judge you but a stereotype they project onto you.

This point deserves expansion.

Goffman's approach is how I first learned it. In order to explain the complexities of the world including the social world, people learn to typify behaviors. Typifications can become frames when they are used to interpret people's actions[1], "She did this because she's a woman" or "He did this because he's tired" where woman and tired are framing devices. Even "I did this because I was upset."

It takes a lot of work to resist framing people's actions. Perhaps it's even impossible to truly apprehend unframed behavior since even language itself is a framing device. But, seeing people closer to who they are is always valuable, and overly applying frames or rushing to frame peoples' actions does them an injustice to seeing them for who they are.

1. These are specifically frames which explain behavior. There are an infinite variety of frames. Browsers are frames, this comment being on HN is a frame.

[robocat]

Framing and typification sound similar to literary deconstruction, except using words that are more comprehensible (less in-group).

[alexalx666]

Is absence of frame a frame?

[kelseyfrog]

I came upon this today and thought you might enjoy it.

> An absolute perspective, one of unconditioned objectivity, would, as Nietzsche says, have us “think an eye which cannot be thought at all, an eye turned in no direction at all, an eye where the active and interpretative powers are to be suppressed, absent, but through which seeing still becomes a seeing-something, so it is an absurdity and nonconcept of eye that is demanded.”

[gzysk8]

That's a helpful perspective. Whenever I feel social anxiety or the spotlight effect creep up, I also try to remember how little I'm actually thinking about what others are doing around me. Maybe it's obvious, but simply flipping the point of view in that moment can help you not judge yourself so much.

[jimkleiber]

Yes I do something similar and it seems to help. I'll ask myself, "How do I imagine this person might currently feel when they think about __?" And rotate thru different scenarios. Often I'll quickly realize how uncertain I am about their internal situation. I like how you talk about flipping it, maybe I can imagine how that person might imagine how I'm feeling right now as well. Thank you!