[HWR_14]

Maybe the government should have been more in your parents' business. I'm not usually one to think that the government has any place in the family, but 10 children seem like too many for 2 parents to wrangle well. Unless your family has more than two adults, how were you supervised?

[rpmisms]

So far the four of us who have turned 18 are doing great for ourselves, so it turned out pretty well. No neglect, great food, and an excellent education.

Are you saying some of us should have been put in the notoriously abusive foster care system instead of having a great family?

[HWR_14]

You mentioned education, and I assume you attended public schools, because 10 tuitions sound like a lot (and homeschooling sounds impossible). I'm amazed your parents were able to afford to feed you well, but good for them.

But how on earth were you supervised. I guess one parent must have been stay-at-home. Which means the other had to earn an income for the whole dozen of you? Did you ever see that parent (seriously, did they have to work 80+ hrs a week?)

> Are you saying some of us should have been put in the notoriously abusive foster care system

I think if you have 10 kids, then someone checking in to make sure that the kids are being fed, supervised, educated becomes a thing that probably needs to happen. If your parents were able to pull it off, great. I just doubt many parents could.

[rpmisms]

Nope, homeschooled 100%. I did go to community college when I was 13, I guess. Lots of books (4000 in our home library), Khan Academy, and no personal electronics for the kids.

>But how on earth were you supervised. I guess one parent must have been stay-at-home.

Mom still is, and she's good at it. The real answer is that it's not any more effort past 6 or so kids. I've been taking care of kids my entire life, essentially, and it really does become self-sustaining. Turns out tweens and young teens are great at taking care of babies. There's a picture somewhere of 10-year-old me wearing my new baby sister in a carrier.

Dad's a principal engineer, he's been remote for a long time, we saw him plenty. (he's also somewhat active here, Hi Dad!)

As long as you don't spend money on things like TV, and buy in bulk to cook at home, it's really not too expensive. We'd spend about $1300 a month in groceries.

> I think if you have 10 kids, then someone checking in to make sure that the kids are being fed, supervised, educated becomes a thing that probably needs to happen.

Where's the threshold for the state examining their anuses because obviously something must be wrong here?

We did have CPS called a couple times, once because I was doing my college coursework at 14 sitting on the patio roof. I hopped down, we sat around and listened to the spiel, then I politely asked them if they could fuck off because my Sociology 204 class was about to happen.

We also scored at the top of our (good) school district in standardized testing. Like, all of us were the top score in our grade.

[warent]

My understanding is that it is pretty common and not mysterious at all that as children get older they start to look after each other. Being the youngest of 4 kids, the older ones often watched over me.

[warent]

This is bizarre nonsense. Because you don't know how to do something successfully then the government should regulate it for everyone? People have been raising huge families for ages. Mormon families for example are known for often being massive and still successful.

[abakker]

"seems" is doing a lot of work here, and you are presuming your worldview to be more correct than the OP's parents? on what basis do you make that judgement? are you not the descendent of someone who once had more than a single child?

[giardini]

I was raised with 9 peers and can address this!

Firstly, births are (usually) spread out over time (20 years for my family). Secondly, the older children help the younger ones (in all respects: I am deeply grateful for the socializing influence of my elder (by 4 years) sister). Thirdly, there is more to life than "family" life (neighborhood children, friends, school, sports, job, etc.) and so we were often under the care of others or on our own. Consequently my friends and I roamed the woods and swamps, cycled around town, to/from school and generally, wandered everywhere within the city limits (~20-mile radius). Once we could drive a car, trips became shorter, less varied, more task- and family-oriented.

I remember the first time my mom told me to "hold down the fort!", rushed out in an emergency and left me in charge of my younger siblings. Pretty exciting to be handed such responsibility but it was easier than it sounds and a lot of fun really.

[rpmisms]

Accurate, and it sounds like you had a similar childhood experience to me: explorative, social, and educational. Nice to see another one of us!

[vorpalhex]

I don't know how to tell you this, but other people are different from you.

The world is full of people who have families and lives and they are not just shallow copies of you.

Just because something isn't to your liking or understanding doesn't mean it's bad or wrong.

[giardini]

This is precisely the kind of socializing influence my 4-year elder sister brought to me! Her words are burned into my brain: "Other people don't think the way you do!"

With that simple statement she opened up a whole new world to me.

[mbg721]

They're offsetting the 30 other people who are hand-wringing about having kids.

[rpmisms]

Honestly, this is a weird thing to see. My parents just... did it, while so many people wait for the perfect time, have kids into their 40s, and then have to deal with teenagers in their 60s. Perhaps not for everyone, but there are perks.

[mbg721]

Most people's parents managed one way or another...