[zwkrt]

On a smaller scale, this is how people are able to build fiefdoms inside of companies, become successful local religious leaders, start cults, and maintain abusive domestic relationships.

Strong conviction is like a magical spell because it literally changes reality. Most people, myself included, are not really wired to be able to resist a constant force which is informing them of what “reality” is (not of its actual constituent components, but the framework of meaning and importance). This is normally a natural part of being human and living in society. We speak the language of the people around us, make the same foods, use the same body language. We think of society as the totality of what there is, but in reality it is providing us only a finite number of infinite options.

But every once in a while someone comes along who sense of reality is so self possessed that they create a force field around them. They change the set of available options for assigning meaning . Anything that falls into their event horizon is twisted and mangled by their totally consistent and unchangeable worldview, and it is contagious. If that person also happens to be charming, it’s all over.

The only way that I know not to fall into these kinds of traps is to regularly practice intentionally subverting or rejecting the norms around me. Not all of them, just the ones that don’t serve me. If I’m used to evaluating and potentially rejecting common practices in my culture (both societal and interpersonal), Then I know that if someone in my life is living in such a warp field that I will notice it since I am practiced in resisting its pull.