[rustybelt]

Great post, I will push back on this point though:

“There's no intrinsic reason why it should be considered usual for men in heterosexual relationships to earn more than women, but emasculating and odd for the reverse to be the case”

I think there is an intrinsic reason for this. Women choose partners, at least in part, based on their ability to provide resources. This makes higher earning men more attractive even too high earning women.

[f17]

I don't think it's intrinsic that (as you said) "Women choose partners, at least in part, based on their ability to provide resources." A hundred years ago, it was considered intrinsic that men were innately violent and needed experience with deadly conflict (hence, each generation "deserving" to "get" a war) or they would rot. We really know very little about what is intrinsic in us; we do, however, know that in the real world we have to deal with generations of toxic socialization.