[lcall]

There is a short book called something like "Leadership and the One Minute Manager" that talks about 4 different kinds (maturity levels) of reports, and the different treatment each needs, depending on their high or low levels of confidence and competence. (Maybe "the one minute manager" is good also; some recommend it but I haven't read it yet.)

And maybe the realization that everyone is in a different place, for different reasons (a different combination of experiences and choices made), so what helps or doesn't help them could vary.

(I've put some things about social development, including how to work with people, such as when trust matters, etc., at my web site, and have more content to add if interested. Simple; feedback welcome; nothing for sale.)

ps: I commented some about balancing positive/negative feedback, to maintain the working relationship in a way that they won't just start ignoring what one says: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=29323685

When people know that you care about them as a human being first, it goes a long way toward ... everything.