| First up - don't take the harsh tone of some commenters to heart. It can be difficult for people to put themselves in your shoes! As a 44 year old single male with very average looks who beat (smashed the sh!t out of) stage 4 bowel cancer about 4 years ago, I can somewhat identify with what you are going through. Perhaps the main difference between you and I is that I f^%$ing love life. Some thoughts / ideas that you may find helpful: - How much alcohol do you drink? If the answer is anywhere near "a lot", stop that right now. I decided to do Dry July in support of the Australian Cancer Council, and it's remarkable the thoughts and emotions you are forced to deal with when you can't drown them with booze. After 12 days, the mental clarity and energy I have is simply amazing. - Try to stop focusing on money. You do not need to earn $500k per year to be happy, let alone find someone else that does, too! I could be doing government contracts and earning similar amounts (also, I quit my job at Microsoft in Redmond about 5 years ago), but instead I choose to work a 4 day week for a funded "startup" where the work is so much more creative and meaningful. I really look forward to going to work now! - Related to above, start (or focus more) on personal projects that stimulate your creative, intellectual mind. Rediscover the joy of learning. - Your children are a blessing even if they are hard work sometimes - try to rediscover the joy there (disclaimer: I do not have kids of my own but really enjoy spending time with friend's children of all ages). - Exercise. This is really important! Find an activity that you enjoy - it doesn't have to be hitting the gym, just something that raises your heart rate - and do it several times a week. Not only will this make you more attractive to women, it will stimulate your body into producing more of the hormones that make you happier. You never know, you might just meet your wife at said activity. If you can find contentment in yourself again, finding a wife becomes secondary to simply enjoying life. Finally - if you struggle with the internal mental and emotional side of things (it seems clear that you do?), you need to fix this. Psychotherapy is not just for crazy people! I do not condone the use of illicit substances, but the fastest and easiest way to rewire your brain is through psychedelics such as psilocybin and LSD. If you are in doubt, I highly recommend watching "Fantastic Fungi" on Netflix. It will blow your mind! HTH! |