[throw220702]

I hope you’ll chat with a few friends about why you decided to write this to the few remaining stragglers.

I should do the same though I know why I’m a mess :)

Your response is heartfelt. It misconstrues the point many were making. None of us know the details of your fertility. We don’t know anything more about you than what you say. The points about your fertility were about its perception not about its reality. You seem like the sort of person who tries to avoid making quick judgments based on stereotypes. Most aren’t like that.

[actfrench]

I believe it touches on an important political issue. I feel that this country is very very divided. It's important we discuss these matters in our own community and not just yell and point fingers at the other side. This was bothering me. I feel men try to control women's bodies all the time. And diagnosing my fertility, I do believe, is a subtle way of trying to control my body, even if it isn't Clarence Thomas overturning Roe V Wade. Perhaps if I speak my peace, others will think twice before they make an assumption about an individual woman's body and assume they know better than her. It may have misconstrued some, but others were very very blatant in their beliefs about women's fertility in general - which I would argue, clearly had nothing to do with this post.

[actfrench]

I talked to a couple friends.

Most are women.

Many laughed at me posting this on a forum dominated by men in their twenties.

As not the best place to get advice on this issue.

I, however, have found it interesting.

I will argue with you though. If you look at the language, many people on this people volunteered their facts about my fertility without any expression that it was a perception, but just a fact.

I will add that the moderators have been incredibly vigilant in deleting and flagging some of the more misogynistic comments that have been posted here including one that said, "your baby will definitely be abnormal"

I feel and I have always felt that it's easy to point fingers at Trump for saying "grab them by the pussy" in a van, but it's harder to address misogyny in your own community and treat the people who are being misogynistic as human beings. That starts by expressing your own humanity and seeing theirs.

These people can continue to go around telling women in their forties that they are infertile and act like they know better than a doctor, or maybe the next time they meet a woman like me, they will pause and see that might be hurtful, and be more curious instead of volunteering these unsolicited "Facts" about her body.

These are random musings.

However, the most important thing about writing that answer was that I needed to stand up for myself.

And express why this bothered me so much.

I know my body better than the people in this forum. The comments made me doubt that a couple times. I needed to stand up for myself.

I felt better.

Thanks for asking.

Also, I am not a mess. I'm sorry if you feel you are. You don't seem like a mess, but you know yourself best :) Good luck to you.