| Have you gone to a matchmaker? While 120 dates sounds like a lot, over 2 years that’s only an average of 5 dates per month. I think it’s a numbers game and you should be meeting like 5 people per week like it’s your second job (this means quick drink after work, and pay for yourself unless you want to see him again). I’m in NYC and this is what I did until I met my now husband; full disclosure I was 33 when we met though so I get that dating is very different at 41. Regardless, since you desire biological children, you really need to adjust your expectations. You’re not in your 20s and your pool of options is getting smaller— it’s just reality. You listed reasons why you didn’t want a second date with some of these men but I just can’t imagine that Not one of them wasn’t just a nice normal average guy. You are the common denominator. maybe consider that you’re expecting more than what you can buy in the dating market. You you have to pick from the options you have. It also sounds like you probably need a new accountability buddy; or maybe your perception is skewed and you’re portrayal of these dates is inaccurate. Ultimately, you are at the point that you need to settle for a nice average guy who also wants a family and would also be settling for you. Lastly, check out this interview with Logan Ury (see link). She's a Google behavioral scientist turned dating coach and director of relationship science at the dating app Hinge. She mentions research shows that only 11% of people feel love at first sight or felt love at first sight with their partner (ie: “spark”). She gives solid advice backed by data. https://www.npr.org/transcripts/965397828 |