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by nickysielicki 1451 days ago
We have such a weird culture around how we treat teenagers in this country. We all remember drinking and smoking as teens, but parents tends to rule with an iron fist and convince themselves that they have more control than their parents did, which means we force healthy normal curious kids to go out to a secluded area (probably by car) to get high or drunk or explore in other ways, away from an adult that could help if something goes wrong, and at a much greater chance of involving the police and putting their future in jeopardy. I respect you for giving your daughter and her friends a safe place to just be normal teenagers. I’m not saying parents should buy their teens a bottle of vodka but everyone should start from a place of being realistic and reducing harm.
5 comments

>We all remember drinking and smoking as teens

Speak for yourself, worst thing I did in high school was play too many video games.

I have friends who spent a huge amount of money and time in "Arcades" playing pinball and then video games in the `70s-`80s. And others who spent even more on blow.

I never got into gaming or blow myself. I was much more intrigued with the tech of games than playing them, and it's been amazing to see it progress from Pong to what's out there now.

After all these years I wouldn't say hanging out with friends and drinking a few beers and puffing a few doobies is "worse" than gaming though. Not even a tiny bit worse.

I really can't even imagine a reason why anyone would think that unless we're talking about getting shitfaced drunk and/or stoned, but that's really not much different than someone who's been chugging Mountain Dew and gaming for 24 hours+, and I have seen gamers do that, a lot too, not just a few times.

At that point it's fair to say it's an addictive behavior that's unhealthy.

Hell yeah. My parents would have been very stern with me if they knew just how many hours I spent gaming.

I also taught myself programming into the wee hours of the night.

It was a wild time alright

>By late adolescence, 78.2% of US adolescents had consumed alcohol

I guess I fall into that group, since I had a few sips, given to my by my parents.

> 47.1% had reached regular drinking levels defined by at least 12 drinks within a given year

So less than half.

> drug use by 42.5%

Also less than half. I wonder how many tried it just once.

> drug abuse by 16.4%

Like you imply I think being punitive may be viewed as healthy because the opposite stance (of encouraging or enabling, or even participating) is boundary-blurring. In this case the temporally removed hypocrisy is better than joining in, which is the other extreme.

Culturally we don’t have a lot of nuance in America yet.

Speak to your kids like adults, explaining why some choices lead to worse outcomes, and they will make choices like adults. Speak to kids like they're slaves, and they will make rebellious choices like slaves. Don't speak to your kids at all about decisions, and they will make poor decisions and wonder why their lives are so difficult.
One thing I’m very grateful for is that I never had to worry about going home as a kid. Never. Later I realized how much of a privilege that was.
I wonder how teenage alcohol abuse compares across countries, France in particular comes to mind since it's common to introduce wine relatively early (in moderation, and perhaps diluted, of course). I thought there was quite a young supervised with-meal drinking age too, but having searched for it perhaps that's changed (or I was wrong). If it's not some forbidden fruit maybe the run off with a bottle of vodka thing doesn't happen so much.
In France, diluting your wine will get you the guillotine ;-)

The legal drinking age is 16 for low alcohol content beverages (wine, beer, etc) ; 18 for all alcohols and tobacco.

At a family gathering or on a special occasion you may get a glass of wine starting around 14 or later I'd say, for most middle class families.

Binge drinking is not as much of a problem as in more northern countries, but binge alcohol consumption is a problem that is being felt at the University level.

Ha, I only meant your children's. Did it not used to be 12y as long as with a meal (and adults) or something?

Otherwise that's pretty much the same as the UK, except the 16/18 distinction is drink/buy rather than low/high ABV. (That's my recollection anyway - I'm almost as far past needing to care for myself as I am away from caring for anyone else!)

At the time the legal drinking age in the Netherlands was 16, and I can remember sneaking in drinks a few years early (just not buying any myself). I honestly think it’s for the best to get aquainted with alcohol earlier in your life, so that you don’t go wild later in life when there is much less supervision.