[ifelsethenyeah]

Dating books are written by people who are in the business of selling books. I would doubt many elderly couples or parties of who are happily-married for decades write dating or relationship advice books. Keep your money and talk to happy couples: it's better information for cheaper.

[actfrench]

I think that's a really good point. I do try to only read dating books by people who have happy, successful marriages. All the better if it was a challenge for them to find someone. People who found a happy marriage effortlessly often can't give that great advice because they didn't go through the struggle and find a solution.

[ifelsethenyeah]

My grandparents were both from extremely broken homes and married young (15 and 21). They were together until they passed, for 70+ years. Even so, they split for about 6 months at one point but came back together.

They:

Chose their battles.

Didn't hold grudges regarding resolving disagreements with compromises and solutions.

Worked together in things as simple as cleaning up the dishes (~6 minutes usually).

Spent a great deal of time together.

Never forgot love meant showing respect, kindness, and tenderness towards each other.

---

In my opinion, a keeper is found by gradually intuiting answers to the extreme fundamental questions in life:

1. Is the vibe approaching effortless, real, natural, and safe? This alone isn't enough but it's a good sign.

2. Do they tick most of the ideal adjectives of a sense of humor, honest, reliable, respectable, fascinating, wise, and not a liability?

3. Who would you (and they) prefer to be stuck on a proverbial deserted island with them?

3. Would you'd trust them implicitly with decisions about your life and everything else if you were away or incapacitated?

4. Have you seen their reactions to not getting their way, under pressure, and with people not in positions of power?

5. Would you die and/or kill (if absolutely essential) for them, and vice-versa again?

6. Are both of you better together than apart overall?

That's my 2c. My bill is in the mail. :)