[throw34]

> A lot of dating books recommend getting really specific about what you want

Also, from my personal experience, what you want is going to change over time. And even if someone checks your boxes today, they’re unlikely to be that same person in 10 years.

Being a parent changed me a lot (hopefully for the better) and 20s me, 30s me, 40s me are all pretty different guys in terms of priorities, willingness to listen to others, etc.

I echo other comments and say the priority is having a communication channel and the willingness to adapt.

[lotsofpulp]

>Also, from my personal experience, what you want is going to change over time. And even if someone checks your boxes today, they’re unlikely to be that same person in 10 years.

And what you can afford is going to change over time.

[actfrench]

I know I love to grow and change and adapt. It’s a little challenging to tell if the person you meet is an adapter or a communicator . Everyone says communication in a relationship is important but the reality can be different. Is there some way early on you could tell your partner was someone willing to adapt ?

[throw34]

I suppose traditionally this is what one learns during the fiancée stage of the relationship and given your accelerated timeline that’s definitely going to be a challenge. Unfortunately the only way I know to tell is to actually go through a couple of tough spots and see what happens and forcing it might not work. On the plus side, if you do find a test that is predictive and can also be used early in a relationship, you’ll be a best selling author of relationship books for sure.

[actfrench]

Love this: "having a communication channel and the willingness to adapt"