[actfrench]

I don’t believe in the concept of out of your league or better or worse people . I don’t think there are better or worse people. I’ve dated all kind of guys, the last one I truly loved most people said was way “below my league” but love doesn’t work that way. It’s about fit.

[norwalkbear]

Men and women have different qualifiers about leagues. They often see career women as a negative so he might have viewed you as a lower league too.

[throw220702]

This is fascinating. Describe that fit. What is it that drew you to him initially? What traits differentiate him from others you've met?

If your tastes are less aligned with typical as this suggests that bodes well for your prospects.

[actfrench]

It just felt easy together. And I felt he deeply saw me for who I was.

[actfrench]

And I like really sweet, super nerdy guys:)

[throw220702]

Out of the 120, how many were sweet and super nerdy? What was their second date rate?

Along a different dimension, what indicia of nerdiness appeal to you?

This comment along with your reactions suggests a theory. Let's see if it validates :)

[actfrench]

I liked the fact that they were outliers. Attractive men who didn't know that they were attractive. And appreciated and saw my intelligence. And socially awkward, so I felt I had something to bring to the relationship and that I wouldn't have to compete too hard for them, like they'd be nicely tucked behind their computer away from other women to steal from me. And very data-driven, scientific-minded, so I felt confident their caring meant something - and that they were honest, not manipulative. And that my ability to present myself well and emotional intelligence was something of value to them, that they admired.

[throw220702]

You answered the thing you feared to answer elsewhere :) Or perhaps there's more?

A lot of this makes sense. This seems consistent with my understanding of who you are. If your assessment of them was accurate, I'm surprised they left so readily. This makes me wonder what the 12 or so second dates would say.

I wonder if this suggests there were men you were even more interested in who you didn't go out with again because they seemed too perfect, because you felt you wouldn't be good enough.