[bittercynic]

Sensitivity is a real problem.

When I was younger I would sometimes feel deeply hurt when someone expressed disapproval of something I did or something about me, and as I've grown older realized that sometimes people don't like the way I do things, or don't like me, and that's okay.

I don't have a really specific point to make here, but it may be worth considering that snobby humor is sometimes really hurtful to some people, and telling someone "you're too sensitive" is probably not helping them grow into a more secure person with a healthier level of sensitivity.

[ludston]

Ego is the real problem. Placing too much value on managing your external identity is what leads to assuming how other people feel about your experiences is more important than how you feel having them. How can you enjoy a nice meal when you are worrying more about status than how it tastes? Why is it so important to express your superior status and look down on those that produce fractionally less tasty food than yours?

Better to not spend your life planning on how to improve your status and instead focus on finding things rewarding.

[robonerd]

> and telling someone "you're too sensitive" is probably not helping them grow into a more secure person with a healthier level of sensitivity.

I fundamentally don't agree with that. That's not the way I want other people to treat me, so that's not the way I treat other people. If I have a problem with getting bullying and pressuring into doing something I don't like, I would rather have somebody set my priorities straight by telling me to ignore the haters. Offering me a shoulder to cry on won't help me. That's a superficial sort of kindness, like not washing a wound because it would be painful, choosing instead to let the wound fester.

[bittercynic]

I think we mostly agree - I'm with you that "Ignore the haters" is usually a good, supportive thing to say in these situations.

Are you sure that you want to be told "You're too sensitive" when you're having a vulnerable moment, and someone happened to criticize you in an area where you have some insecurity? Though it may be true, don't you already know it, and really don't want to hear it at that moment?

[bobthepanda]

There's more than two ways to do things, which is the other problem with conversations with random internet users.

You don't need to just let them cry and not address anything, but also telling someone to "just ignore the haters" is probably just as effective as telling a depressed person "have you tried not being depressed?"