[throwaway23234]

At 35 I decided to fuck the "normal life" and just go RVing with my wife. We saw the country (US). Fast forward 7 years and we are now building our own house paycheck to paycheck. It's a beautiful property. I know there are people on here that have much, much more and could afford to buy an already existing house. But my dreams are to have a different kind of life, so in that sense I am definitely living that. Yes there are mornings I wish I can wake up and NOT want to install my own well pump, install mini splits in 105 degree weather, install siding, dig foundations, run 40 80-pound bags of cement in a mixer, 2 at a time. etc etc etc...

But my alternative life would have been spending the last 7 years playing new versions of Call of Duty and kinda pissing time away.

[rdudek]

Is it really pissing time away if you're enjoying your time spent playing video games? While it's great that you found an opportunity to go RVing with your wife. Because such a feat is not really possible for everyone to do, less people do it so less congestion and you can make it enjoyable. Imagine if 100 million people in the US decided to all at once go RVing around the country. All the areas would be full of RVs and I bet it would not be as enjoyable anymore.

[hinkley]

It is. Or at least it is for a lot of us. In working through some things a few years back I realized that when I’m worn out I do certain activities to recharge myself, and some of them aren’t actually recharging, they’re just running down the clock and Time is doing the recharging.

Gaming was very much a pastime rather than a recharging time. Worse, with games it’s too easy to get sucked into a thread that keeps me up well past bedtime, in which case I’m more tired then next day, not less.

Other hobbies accumulate progress, and are sometimes more open to participation by friends and family. Now I spend a lot of time gardening or doing other hobbies, and more of my screen time comes when I’m resting or trying to limit my skin cancer risks (1 pm instead of 7 pm).

[r3trohack3r]

The quote that resonated the most with me here went something like: Life is a series of bricks, placed day by day, to build the foundation of life.

I’d take it one step further and say life also has compounding returns. What you invest today yields returns tomorrow. Not all hobbies yield the same returns.

Gaming as a hobby offers a flat return. The time you put in is the time you get out. There is no progress outside the bounds of the game (except for some fuzzier returns about societal commentaries and personal growth on par with the returns on a fantasy novel - or the future returns of making a game yourself).

The returns of a hobby like glass blowing is the improved ability to create on the other side of engaging in the hobby. Every piece you make sets the stage for the next piece. It’s a compounding return where the investment you make today is part of the return you get out of tomorrow’s investment.

I still play games, watch TV, and read fiction. But I no longer engage with them the way I used to. Now I engage with hobbies that yield compounding returns because tomorrow’s happiness is just as important as today’s.

[YurgenJurgensen]

The productivity of most so-called 'productive' hobbies is an illusion. What does it mean to 'produce'? To transform something that doesn't have value into something that does have value? Value to whom? The output of the majority of hobbyists' work has no value to anyone but themselves, and if it has no value to anyone but the creator, it's just consumption with extra steps. And if it has financial value to other people, that's not hobby, that's a second job.

There's a reason why most artistic pursuits are either completely nonviable as a profession or are a lottery where the top 0.01% become superstars and the rest barely break even or lose money. When the thing one 'produces' is something people will do for fun, supply massively outstrips demand, and more entries into the hobby doesn't produce more valuable items, it produces more tat that nobody wants.

[trwhite]

I don't think they're talking about a physical 'product'. They're talking about building character, making themself a better person, learning a skill etc

[YurgenJurgensen]

If it's all about perceived self-improvement with no consideration for real-world applications or end products, there's no difference between practical skills and virtual ones. All that matters is that the person in question believes the experience to be valuable.

EDIT: I guess it's worth mentioning a minor exception for basic life skills that some people do as hobbies, like sewing, gardening, DIY or cooking, but those have diminishing returns. You can probably learn everything you need to know to not be reliant on tradesmen or vendors for those sorts of things in a year, and beyond that you get stuck in the same place as the hobby craftsman or hobby artist, where the chance of real financial success is basically nil so you're just doing it because it's an activity you personally enjoy.

[hinkley]

There are some of us who give advice to prospective college grads that they should do some volunteer work if they can't find any professional experience prior to graduation.

Lots of hobbies still tackle basic human problems like communication and organization, and getting any exposure to these is not only good, but it might take some of the pressure off by not mixing multiple things you struggle with at the same time.

[popcube]

so now they have a lot of things can give their grandchildren. yes, kids usually do not like them, but this still happy

[dota_fanatic]

> Gaming as a hobby offers a flat return.

Not all games, and not for all definitions of playing them.

Some games are tests and potentially builders of skill of various kinds, and the investments made are compounding: self control in the face of stress, economic decision-making, system design, tactical thinking in 3D space, and so on. Some games allow us to go Elsewhere and we change profoundly as a result.

Games aren’t created equally!

[newswasboring]

I find it weird that your gold standard of a good hobby is the ability to produce. I personally think those "fuzzier returns" you sort of disregarded are far more important.

Also, particularly in video games, each time you engage in it you get better. I've been recently trying to get back into video games after over a decade of off time. The gap I feel is tremendous. Gamers have advanced so far ahead that a good gamer from 2000s will have incredible amount of trouble playing newer games.

[parasti]

And yet, you are only "getting better" at the game. Your in-game skills don't translate to the real world. Games have psychological and social benefits, but I don't think getting better at a game skillwise has really any transferrable value outside of the game itself. In fact, if you put more effort into improving your in-game skill, your real-world life usually suffers. (In my experience.)

[Joeri]

But to serious gamers, those interactions in and around those games are their real world. Say someone dedicates themselves to learning the piano, a Real World activity, and they enjoy it, and they can entertain others with their skill, why is that any more real than getting deep into a game? In the end we all die and take nothing with us, nor do we leave anything behind which will last all that long. If everything is ultimately futile, why make a distinction between one pursuit and another?

[wccrawford]

Actually, a lot of skills used in video games do translate to the real world. Puzzle solving (aka logic), language, map reading, navigation, communication, working with a team, and more. Some games even have a particular bent towards 1 skill, such as programming games and geography games. And that's not even including all the games that are designed to be educational first and fun second.

They are generally soft skills because no games really let you physically do things yet, but that doesn't mean they aren't useful skills.

[hnfong]

That the "real world" is actually "real" is a big assumption to make.

If that sounds weird, remember that a number people who were considered wise claimed that the "real world" is not as "real" as you'd assume and life is transient. And they'd probably say that it's not worth spending the effort to learn "real life", "productive" skills since they don't translate to the "meta-real-world" anyway, and the more you put effort into improving your "real world" skills, your "meta-new-world" skills suffers.

It feels like I might be paraphrasing some verses of the Bible at this point...

[snowram]

I played a lot of Rocksmith and it helped me a lot to play the guitar. I know personally some people who went from couch potatoes to mildly active thanks to Ring Fit. I met dozens of now long time friends online because we share this common interest in video games. I think you may have a bias against this media.

[GoblinSlayer]

You must be one of those people who think they don't need linear algebra in their life.

[newswasboring]

> And yet, you are only "getting better" at the game.

I don't get it, why is that not enough? Why can a hobby not be about only me and my personal growth/goals. Its a hobby, what I am failing to understand is why does it need to be productive? If I stick to playing challenging games, I feel a sense of growth which unfortunately I cannot articulate. That is enough for me, but yeah YMMV.

[gmadsen]

uh what? Games have definitely gotten easier since the 90s

[newswasboring]

I don't know man, I downloaded Cup Head because it looked cute and it has been kicking my ass since like a month. I know it is one of those notoriously hard games but I think the point stands.

I think games have moved away from precision challenges to more abstract ideas. Like Doki Doki Literature Club, I have no f'ing clue whatever that is all about but I am experiencing it. Challenge for me comes from the fact that it relies on peoples knowledge of tropes to enable different story progressions. I don't have that because last game I played was in like 2009.

Another game I am having trouble with is watch dogs 2. I know, AAA game, made for less than pro gamers. But again, they are relying on my knowledge of AAA games for conveyance. I regularly have moments where I am thinking, what do I do? where do I go? Now I have played GTA vice city, so open world is not an alien concept. But the scale of it all, its just magnificently complex.

Edit: I occurs to me all this can just be the fact that I suck at video games. But I used to be good at them, that's the point.

Edit 2: This video explains my feelings better than me https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ax7f3JZJHSw

[wildmanx]

> I’d take it one step further and say life also has compounding returns. What you invest today yields returns tomorrow. [...]

> [...] Now I engage with hobbies that yield compounding returns because tomorrow’s happiness is just as important as today’s.

You may not realize it, but this defer-happiness-to-the-future attitude is what the original article is recommending against:

Putting things off for the future is the biggest waste of a life. You deny yourself the present by promising the future. You’re relying on the future, which is outside of your control, and abandoning the present, which is the only thing you can control. The whole future lies in uncertainty – live immediately.

[ivan1783]

I wouldn't say that building on your skillset as (in this example) a skilled craftsman is deferring happiness. You still enjoy what you create today, even if its not as good as what you will create one year from now. I do woodworking and metalworking as hobbies - I've always enjoyed the process and the improvement I see in my work. Its about the journey not so much the end result.

[wildmanx]

Absolutely! But that's not what I was replying to. That was, roughly, about depriving you of certain joys today in order to increase potential for future joy. Which is what the "Life is not short" article is arguing against.

[bricestacey]

You can set the stage for the next level so to speak in either glass blowing or some video game. Not really following your argument.

Blowing glass is a hobby. Today's multi-user video games are a competition.

That's the real difference.

Unless you're exceptional, no one cares about either one. So probably best to do whatever makes you happy.

[Al-Khwarizmi]

Games and TV may mostly give a flat return, but I don't think that's the case with reading fiction. That hones your linguistic skills, your imagination and storytelling skills, can sometimes give you critical insights (e.g., the classic dystopias), and last but not least, can enhance your attention span in an age where many of us are used to jumping from short piece to short piece online and it seems difficult to gather enough time or attention to read a book.

Of course you will learn even more if you read essays, but I think if reading books in general is widely regarded as a good thing to do, it's for good reason.

[YurgenJurgensen]

This seems like you're comparing the likes of 1984 to the likes of Genshin Impact. If we instead choose Opus Magnum as our example of a game, and 50 Shades of Grey for as our example of a book, one would conclude the opposite. Someone with a taste for timewasting games isn't going to suddenly become an intellectual because they picked up a piece of dead tree if the words written on said dead tree are as empty as the game they just put down, and there's more than enough bland genre fiction out there for them to be attracted to.

[theptip]

I like your phrasing here a lot. I have come to a pretty similar realization recently. For me a small about of gaming does recharge me, but as you say it’s really easy to get sucked into spending too much time and ending up tired or sacrificing other recharging activities like exercise and socialization.

I think it’s possible to weave socialization and accumulated progress into the gaming experience and have it be a fully enriching hobby. But many (most?) single player experiences are just a pastime for me, as you say.

[TaupeRanger]

I think Seneca would roll his eyes at most of these responses TBH. Who cares if you're just gaming to "pass the time"? When you're gaming, you're having fun and enjoying your life in the moment. It's only afterward when you start the cycle of criticizing yourself for not doing something "productive" with that time that the negative feelings enter. In fact, the whole exercise of feeling bad about yourself for playing a fun game and relaxing is exactly PART of the problem Seneca talks about - unless your gaming habits cause you to destroy your links to other important sources of joy and health, you shouldn't feel bad about having a fun "pastime" activity, that is just as valid as keeping a garden or reading a good book of fiction.

[watwut]

Specifically, commenter you responded to cares. Because, as he puts it "it’s really easy to get sucked into spending too much time and ending up tired or sacrificing other recharging activities like exercise and socialization." He literally describes negative overall impact he perceives. He is not feeling bad for gaming for irrational reasons, he says it makes him tired and makes him sacrifice exercise and socialization.

He even admits it is theoretically possible to do it differently, but also observed people not doing it differently in practice.

[agent008t]

The problem is that the things you think you enjoy and that recharge you may not actually be what you empirically enjoy and what empirically recharges you.

For example, playing a game, or browsing youtube, or scrolling through social media, or reading the news, or even browsing HN for that matter you may think of as something you do to relax. It could be, however, that actually, doing some woodwork, or practicing a musical instrument, or learning a language, or going for a walk in nature, empirically recharges you a lot better, and you actually enjoy the days when you get to do these activities a lot more - and it makes your time outside those activities more enjoyable too.

These are just examples, it may not work for you in the same way, and all of these activities can be done in 'recharging' and 'non-recharging' ways perhaps. The important thing here is that what you think recharges you and what empirically actually recharges you may be very different things.

[taberiand]

It's been a while since I read Letters from a Stoic, but I have a feeling Seneca would scoff at frivolous pursuits - leave such things to the Epicureans. He comes off as a bit of a (humorously) grumpy old man in that book though.

[hinkley]

As an ex WoW player, I’m rolling my eyes and I haven’t been dead for 2000 years.

Many games turn into jobs. The sense of fun degrades over time, and the self recriminations aren’t baseless.

[TaupeRanger]

If you're not having fun with the game and you're extinguishing your social and physical health, then you have a gaming problem. If you're admonishing yourself for playing a single player game to recharge and relax, as in the cases I responded to, you have a self-admonishment problem.

[hinkley]

When I was young I realized I was escaping into games and damaging my life and relationships (one of the tests for addiction) and so I’m always going to hold them at arm’s length.

When I realized I needed a change I latched onto the fact that most people wouldn’t understand my excitement for an accomplishment in a video game, it wasn’t something I could bond with people over. But if I stopped fucking around and put that energy into programming, I could have accomplishments people understood (that turned out to only be only partly true. I still have programming accomplishments that my peers and communities don’t understand).

Bonding over games has shifted a bit since then. I know a hard of hearing kid who socializes online because conference calls make everyone have the same problem: differentiating two speakers is difficult. Everything sounds like hearing aids sound.

But it’s still easier for people to comment on my garden than whether I have finished the Thieves guild or stormcloak quest line in Skyrim, as an elf.

[Aeolun]

> But many (most?) single player experiences are just a pastime for me, as you say.

By this measure reading books would also just be a pastime? I see gaming more like an interactive story (especially singleplayer).

[BonitaPersona]

Regarding that last sentence, it's the exact opposite experience for me.

I see multiplayer experiences as just a past time, and singleplayer experiences the one that can have a meaning and are valuable by themselves.

I think the key point here is what singleplayer games are we talking about, because the offer is more varied than ever.

[wruza]

But why is socialization recharging and “pastime” not? My bet is because the former allow you to talk through the issues.

[watwut]

I like how you expressed the first two paragraphs. Both I something I can completely relate to.

[izzydata]

"Is it really pissing time away if you're enjoying your time spent playing video games?"

It depends on if you ever think you will regret it or not. I thought the same thing 10 years ago when I was spending years playing games and having fun. Now it feels like I wasted a colossal amount of time no matter how much fun it was at the time. I'd never made that choice knowing what I know now.

[orobinson]

Interesting. I was very into PC gaming in my teens and look back on that time quite fondly. Certainly not with any regret or a feeling that I wasted my time.

[whiplash451]

Same here. If you're saying "that time I spend gaming was wasted time", you'd better have a really good story about what you would have done instead, excluding any kind of hindsight magic.

[ajmurmann]

There are a ton of low-effort forms of entertainment available today. It's easy for them to dominate choice. If you take those away, other things will emerge and grab your interest. If you are even a remotely interested person you'll find stuff. A few months ago I was at the beach without as much technology access and enjoyed it so much that I put myself on a media diet after. I suddenly felt more excitement about programming projects I had started but not finished, reading books, cello practice, little projects around my house and garden. One thing all these things had in common is that they left be feeling better when I was done with them. That just doesn't happen for me with most video games and movies. But it's just so much easier to fall into the couch and watch Netflix or grab the controller.

[wruza]

I really think this thread has to specify the types of video games it speaks about. Because games range from CoD-like X-to-Win shooters with endless changing backgrounds to something more elaborate and harder than real life activities, while being relatively short.

[throwaway2037]

I like this post. It rings a bell with me when you wrote: <<But it's just so much easier to fall into the couch and watch Netflix or grab the controller.>>

I cannot put a finger on it, but what is the difference between (a) reading a newspaper, magazine, book (fiction or non-fiction) and (b) playing video games or streaming films / TV shows? I cannot put a finger on it, but (a) reading activates some part of my brain that (b) streaming does not. Why? I'm not sure. I never read any research about it. One thing I can say: Watching documentaries is different than other stuff. Again: Not sure why. It might only be me and my brain that feels this way.

Also, this part: <<I suddenly felt more excitement about programming projects I had started but not finished, reading books, cello practice, little projects around my house and garden.>> Again, I cannot put a finger on it, but what really is the difference between these activities and playing video games or streaming films / TV shows? On the surface, not much, but the emotional satisfaction is so different when finishing a cello piece or novel versus a streamed season of a TV show.

[april_22]

I don't think there's anything bad with gaming in your free time - at any age. In the end, why shouldn't one just enjoy whatever life's possibilities are? It's obviously important to keep all other areas of life under control, but what's bad about enjoying doing something - even if it's not productive - especially when you're young. This is quite philosphical, but I've found the idea of optimistic nihilism very helpful for having an overall more relaxed view on life https://you.com/search?q=optimistic+nihilism

[agent008t]

Why "especially when you're young"?

Arguably, any consumption activities are better done when old, and investment activities when young. Effort when young pays off with tons of compounding over your lifespan. Effort when old is not as important, and so pure consumption non-productive activities are probably better enjoyed when old, are they not? Especially if it is something like videogames that doesn't exactly require some great physical abilities.

[watwut]

> you'd better have a really good story about what you would have done instead, excluding any kind of hindsight magic.

Nah, that is not how it works. Effectively, you want people to tell you about some grand plan they would executed it, if they did not played.

The way it works when you stop gaming/reading too much facebook etc is that you start being more active in other areas. You get more fit, you suddenly read more about history without planning to, you do crafts here and there, learn to draw or play music instrument on and off. And overall you feel calmer, more creative, sleep better. And after after months/years it accumulate and you look back happy. It does not feel wasted, cause you have that picture on the wall, your dad has your the thing you created, you are really proud about that song you can play.

[SoftTalker]

Because there isn't that much else to do as a teen. The opportunity cost of spending time on gaming is low. You could get a job and start saving or investing, or study harder and advance your education more quickly, but it's not the expectation that teens will do this in a significant way.

An adult who is free to do anything and chooses to spend a lot of time gaming has a higher opportunity cost and a higher likelyhood of regret later.

[FalconSensei]

> You could get a job and start saving or investing, or study harder and advance your education more quickly

I see this more of a waste of teenage years time than playing videogames with friends

[WoodenChair]

Learning responsibility? Learning how an organization functions? Perhaps learning a skill at the job (customer service, mental math, cooking, etc)? A waste?

[meowtimemania]

Not all jobs are boring. I worked as a life guard and taught swim lessons as a teen. I made great friends, we had pool parties, and I enjoyed teaching and it felt good to buy/save for things myself rather than always ask my parents for money

[Scene_Cast2]

There is a ton of stuff to do as a teen. I spent a lot of my time getting into graphics. Other things to do could be sports of various kinds, music, making stuff, etc.

I look back on that stuff fondly, and I feel like doing that stuff helped me a ton today.

[elpescado]

> Because there isn't that much else to do as a teen.

Whoa, that's a bold statement!

[chrischen]

I think the key here is the regret. Is playing games alone, or with friends really that much different from some other activity, such as traveling, alone, or with friends? Sure you learn while traveling, but also get good at gaming the more you do it. You can even substitute traveling with some other hobby (playing the guitar, building legos, etc). Some may argue that the guitar is a "useful" skill but I'd argue that gaming can be a useful skill in the same sense.

[xhrpost]

Same. If anything, my teen gaming years may have helped get me through school.

[eikenberry]

Regret isn't an problem with your past, it is a problem with your current self's opinion of the past. You are judging your past self based on your current self but that is unfair and you might want to think how that impacts your life going forward. Making decisions based on what you think your future self will approve of doesn't seem like it'd have the best results.

[mbg721]

I think I agree with this; the usual clichés about regret place a sort of bias towards how one feels at the end of one's life, but just because it's the last opinion doesn't necessarily mean it should win.

[rowanG077]

I vehemently disagree. Making decisions based on your future self would like is most generally the best thing you can do. Maybe you should really go out for a run even though you don't want to. Your future self will thank you. Maybe you should start working on that thing that is due soon. Your future self will thank you. And there are countless more examples. The practically write themselves.

[cgriswald]

The examples you've given here are both extremely short term and are presumably things that help you achieve goals now-you wants.

I know what I want for myself in five years. I don't and to large degree can't know what me-in-five-years will wish I had wanted.

My approach is to go for the things I want for myself now, while always being cognizant of providing options and opportunities for the future. It's not perfect, and it never will be because I don't have perfect foresight. But it works well enough.

[eikenberry]

None of those are future in a planning sense. They are immediate goals with immediate impacts. Getting exercise regularly pays off almost immediately and continues to pay of day to day. Finishing a project today has the immediate reward of finishing it and not having to worry about it anymore. The example was your 10 year from now self. And while you might come up with some 10-year span anecdotes, I don't see it being a good heuristic for living your life in general.

[rowanG077]

They are definitely future planning things. IF you don't go for a run now you won't notice tomorrow, you won't notice in a week. You won't even notice in a month. But compare a person who is 50 who was active for his entire life and one who isn't and the differences can be stark.

[SamvitJ]

I love this take on regret, and it really resonates with how I reason about it.

I wrote a short blog post on the idea of judging your past self based on your current values: https://www.samvitjain.com/blog/regret/. Curious what you think!

[888666]

Could that possibly be a failure on the part of your future self rather than on your past self?

[izzydata]

I think I am correct in my judgement that playing World of Warcraft for 300+ days of playtime was not a good use of my time. It is a failure of my past self for thinking that was a good idea. People make mistakes all the time. I don't believe anyone who says they have no regrets at all. You live with them though.

[cortic]

In my thirties i regret not working more in my twenties, and in my forties i regret not working more in my thirties.

However upon introspection, i realize that this regret is always based on not wanting to work more now.

edit; to quote "The Idler" from the RT-11 operation system kernel source code (and my new favorite quote).."To be idle is the ultimate purpose of the busy"

[vwcx]

That quote parallels something that sticks with me from Umair Haque about how "the point of capitalism is to escape capitalism": https://kottke.org/18/10/if-the-point-of-capitalism-is-to-es...

[ge96]

There is also that aspect where doing the same thing everyday makes time seem short. Versus doing something new, which yeah do you have the money to take a vacation.

Everytime I finish a project I ask myself was it worth it. It's like buying a new device, you want it until you have it.

[Aeolun]

> I thought the same thing 10 years ago when I was spending years playing games and having fun. Now it feels like I wasted a colossal amount of time no matter how much fun it was at the time.

I don’t think you should blame yourself for ‘wasting’ that time. I’m sure past you would have considered it a waste to do what you do now.

There’s many things I may wanted to do differently, but I’d never actually do so since they brought me where I am now.

[qwertox]

Before I started with my daily sports routine, at least one hour of biking outside every day (unless it's impossible due to health or schedule, but laziness, tiredness or season/temperature is not an excuse), I noticed that I have wasted the possibly best years of my life in front of a screen. Now I get to pick up what's left over and make the best out of it.

I really wish I had started with it when I was in my 20s, ideally as an early teenager or even kid, when breaking some bones is not something which keeps you concerned for many weeks.

I wish I could drive into the alps and ride the trails, but I'm currently "recovering" from a crash which ripped a tendon. In quotes because it can't really be fixed and I have to see if the system is still usable enough. But it is enough for having a lot of fun outside.

Today at 17:00 I was completely tired laying in my bed after watching hours of a TV series, half asleep and feeling badly rested, was struggling to motivate me to ride. But at 18:00 I pulled myself up and went, and I had a blast during those 1:30 hours, was even making screams of joy (I ride alone, so it's no show, but a feedback expression to myself). I was congratulating me for making the decision to go and ride, had super beautiful views of the nature at wonderful 27°C (80°F). Dry but planted fields, juicy green forests, sounds of birds and insects, breathable, clean air, warm wind being felt by the hairs on the legs and arms, what an experience.

I have a lavalier mic attached to my backpack's breast strap and an app where I can press record, to record notes of 1 minute length. I will quote you one of the recordings from today:

rec60s--1656265743723--19-49-03.q128.mp3: "Well, thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you that you overcame yourself to then get up, go out and ride the bike, because it was really, really nice! Thank you very much! It was good, it was worth it, you have to do this, always, always. Always force you to do this. Regardless of how weary, how tired, how uninspired, you rode extra. Extra, because it was so nice. Other ways, new ways, new trails"

With "extra" I meant that I had initially decided to ride my minimum of 23 km in a relatively dull track which I know I will be able to complete under any circumstances (except when I have migraine), but then decided to leave the asphalt, ride up a hill through a forest into some fields, where I then took this photo.

https://imgur.com/a/HGQ55kQ

Maybe I'm a psycho for talking to me like that, but I know that I switch contexts very hard so that I'm a different person when I do different things and tend to forget the experiences. So this was a "thank you" and reminder from the biking me to the baseline me. Usually I only record new ideas or things I get reminded of which I forgot.

I wasn't really sure if I was going to ride today, I didn't yesterday, because I rode so hard and long distances last week that by butt was really hurting, and no amount deer tallow cream (Xenofit Second Skin) seemed to be helping. But it turned out that I had zero issues with it today.

Most of the riding time is a relatively hard exercise with heavy breathing and lots of sweating. No video game will ever be a replacement for such a thing.

But I know that I very likely already have my best years behind me (and lost them to a screen).

[SoftTalker]

It seems silly to me to regret the past, as it cannot be changed. It can be used to inform decisions you make today or in the future, but regretting it is pointless.

[drevil-v2]

Thank you sharing that. It was lovely to read especially the part where you thank yourself, bought a smile to my face :)

It's a great way to think about it.

[april_22]

Really like the idea of having a mic attached to your backpack to record and listen back to things you sometimes just say randomly

[qwertox]

I already tried to get it transcribed in Google Cloud so that I could get a summary email with a map, stats and the recorded notes in text form, but it didn't work. That was around two years ago, so maybe nowadays it could work. Also the notes are spoken in German which was bad back then and have some degree of noise in it (gravel, wind).

Edit: I just tested it with the recorder app on my Pixel 3 (played back via headphones pressed against the phone's mic) and it was able to transcribe it with almost no errors, so there is hope.

[moneywoes]

Wow you must live in a good neighborhood

[tomcam]

Well I don’t think you’re a psycho for talking to you. Say hi to you for me sometime.

[picozeta]

May I ask how old you are?

A very inspiring story.

[qwertox]

In the 45-50 bracket. I never did any sports, ate mostly junk and drank at least 3 L of softdrink a day. I started riding bike 3 years ago.

[picozeta]

Thx! You seem on a good track now, and don't regret what's past! Anyway, good luck in your future endeavours.

[arvinsim]

Felt the same. I felt that if I poured that time to my other passion, music, I would be much more fulfilled now.

[hungryforcodes]

Though to be fair the economy would adapt to 100 million people RVing. Services would pop up, new taxes would be created I'm sure for driving x number of kilometres per year, etc, etc.

I agree with your first point though. Perhaps the OP doesn't think playing COD is a great way to pass the time -- but video games are certainly not a waste of your life if you really enjoy them. This applies to any hobby.

Ultimately we have a short time here and it's up to us personally to decide what is a waste of our time and then act accordingly. Judgement on these efforts is hardly effective. RVing with my wife sounds like an incredibly suffocating experience -- trapped with another person in such a small space -- akin to buying a boat and spending 3 years "sailing", without seeing land for many days on end -- just figuring out what to do with the day when you wake up. But some people yearn for it, and that's great.

[jdkee]

100 million Americans RVing would certainly clog up the National Parks.

[fortuna86]

They are already overcrowded.

[dx034]

Only at certain times. If you travel full time, you can find times where even the most popular national parks aren't crowded at all.

[fortuna86]

Yes those times are called "Winter" and they aren't fun to camp during. Summer is the best time always, and summer in any of the popular national parks is miserable.

[Hellbanevil]

Recreational Vechile occupants do pay direct, and indirect taxes.

1. It's not cheap to park a RV anywhere. Pretty much every road is off limits to overnight parking. Those fines are very pricy too. (Watch Something about Schmidt.)

2. Living out of an RV is a pain. Stuff breaks down, and I don't know of one public street, or parking lot, that allows the owner to repair their disabled vechicle.

3. They get horrid gas mileage, and their are state/federal taxes on gas. Registration, Insurance. Plus because they are on the road, they are more likely to get one of those ever increasing traffic tickets. A parking ticket in SF is 80.00. Crazy! (Neusome has a bill on his desk that would do away with late fees on parking tickets. I hope he signs it.)

4. RV-ing is fine, but they pay in indirect ways.

5. I worked with a guy who tried to live cheap in a small camper truck. Every other night he would get a knock, and flashlight shined into his eyes. It was always, "move along, or I will ticket you!". He tried the shower thing at 24 hour Whatever gym. Once the manager figured he was just using the showers, he was told he needed to workout. (Yea--I can't believe how petty some people are.). We worked construction, and the last thing he needed was a workout before 7:00 am.

Another guy I knew tried the RV lifestyle. He too was harrsssed by cops. Cops would tell him straight up he was not breaking any laws, but if he didn't move along he would get another ticket. Oh yea, the next sentance I'm about to write still gets my blood pressure up. One night my friend was sound asleep on a rural county road. He tried to hide. He knew the drill. He did have a 25 lb dog. This cop pounded on the side of his camper. He opened the door, and the dog growled. The officer took out his side arm and shot the dog. I have so little respect for some of these cops.

The last time I looked at what it would cost to park/sleep in a private RV park it was $79 a night.

This is in the Bay Area though.

Their is a pilot program in the Bay Area for low income RV'ers. I believe it's near the bay? It basically a lot that RV'ers can park for free. It's only available to county residents though.

My point is uless you have money, that whole RV lifestyle can be a nightmare.

Walmart used to let RVers park overnight. I have a feeling that privilege is gone. America the great? Our biggest concern is finding a place to sleep.

Off topic, but the one thing Russia did well under Communism is build apartments. I didn't realize just how many units they built until I saw pictures of Ukraine.

[kromem]

I can't disagree more with many comments on here in response to if it's pissing away time playing video games.

I mean, I guess I don't really play CoD vs more narrative games, so I can't speak to that specifically, but I greatly credit my time in virtual worlds with a lot of my intellectual flexibility.

In my experience there's a palpable benefit to exploring impossible worlds and carrying out a personal story shaped by my actions within them. Making hard decisions that I would never be faced with in reality informs me about myself, and encountering stimuli well beyond what reality has on tap conditions me to look beyond the box in what reality does throw at me.

I can't really say that any other medium or activity offers the same mental exercise as an engrossing game.

To each their own, and people are welcome to decide that they found a greater purpose in a national park vs a spaceship exploring unknown worlds. But people are also welcome to find greater purpose in the other.

As someone who does (though I find variety the spice of life and also do enjoy national parks - just not as much), it's interesting the ways in which people pass judgment on each other, and themselves.

I'd value a gamer spending decades in video games over a monk spending decades mediating and in a vow of silence, and yet I suspect given the general fetishizing of traditionalism and demonizing of modernism many would disagree and see one as pursuit of a higher truth and the other as a pursuit of nihilism.

It's useful to check in with oneself as to if our choices are actually giving us value or are an escape from things that would give us greater value. But if they really do give you value, then value them. And if they do not, don't make the mistake of thinking that equation would hold true for others as well.

[watwut]

> Making hard decisions that I would never be faced with in reality informs me about myself,

This irks me wrong, because it does not distinguishes between reality and fantasy. None of the in-game decisions is hard the way real life decisions are hard. Just like, murder on TV is not the same thing as real life one. Real life combat situations frequently changes people, makes them bitter and forever angry or give them PTSD. People regret their real life decisions till the end of their lives - that is why those decisions are said to be "hard". Video games dont do the same thing.

You are not facing equivalent of real-life decisions. None of the decisions you made in game had any real consequences to the outside world and you know it.

[kromem]

There's a difference between realizing one's self-image vs one's self-actuality.

Most people when asked would say they wouldn't obey authority over their own conscience. And yet if actually put into Milgram's experiment most would likely result in different outcomes than they'd think.

The idea has certainly been put forward that there's a merit to the self-knowledge gained in real tragedy. A Hemingway-esque self-discovery in the trenches.

Arguably we could extend that to conclude that given the relative timeline of humanity, that anyone who doesn't end up slowly devoured by a pride of lions in the savannah or sees several of their children die to the elements hasn't really discovered their 'real' human self.

IMO that's a BS argument.

What games engage isn't the self-discovery of who we are, but the self-discovery of who we would like to be.

And frankly I think that pursuit in fictional worlds is both more worthwhile and of import than the lessons available to be 'learned' in a foxhole.

I can honestly say that some of the hard decisions in games had me reevaluating my personal philosophies much more than my experiences making harrowing medical decisions for family or life altering changes.

Reality is seldom ideologically binary enough as to prompt extrapolated self-reflection on the principles of decisions as opposed to the relatively much greater focus on the complexities of their fallout.

Triviality is a tool for archetypical self-reflection, and it is precisely the low stakes setting that allows for such rich self-discovery.

[NikolaNovak]

It depends on the game.

Not facetious - for me it's all about whether you build memories,and whether you'll regret time later.

Mass effect, deus ex, back in the day Another World or Sierra's space quest and Rama etc - these are important memories and experiences to me.

Overwatch (nearest call of duty analog I played, maybe), let alone all the phone games, are just time killers in the sense I do them to pass the time. They are games I actively regret playing moments, not even years after I'm done.

[progman32]

Precisely this. Mass Effect in particular triggered some deep introspection that measurably improved my life. I suppose it's just like other forms of media. Some books are just time wasters, while others are deeply meaningful to their readers. And there's overlap in those groups.

[earth_walker]

I don't have much time for gaming these days, and so when I do I want it to be good. So I browse the local buy-and-sell and pick up the classics every now and then.

This winter I picked up all three Mass Effects and played the first two through for the first time. Loved them, and will definitely get to the third when the snows come around again.

I think Deus Ex is one of those games every gamer should play through - it's like reading a classic - so what if the graphics and gameplay are a bit outdated, the philosophical debates with psychotic AI alone are worth it!

[kromem]

Just wait until the philosophical debates in games are with real AI.

The next 20 years are going to be quite the wild ride, even in contrast to the past 20.

[earth_walker]

I think that really depends on who has access to the AI, and what it will be used for. I've been playing computer games for 40 years, and have seen some highs and lows. But with all the technical advances over those years, the storytelling / character interactivity has generally stagnated or gotten worse.

Sure we've had a few gems here and there, but in general it's much more profitable for a company to cap any novel, exploratory gameplay or story at 10 hours, so that after a day of play it just becomes another online interactive generating subscription and DLC purchases.

Will AI be significant in improving game story quality and play-ability? Provide us with worlds we cannot even imagine, infinite explorations?

Or will AI be used as an excuse to avoid employing expensive and risky human imagination? Instead push everything to a bland middle-ground, lowest common denominator based on the safest and most profitable options determined from the training set...

We're already there, considering most games people play are some kind of optimized hyper-addictive candy crush with guns.

Sure, I can imagine a new Elder Scrolls installment where each npc was actually unique, with meaningful interactivity possible with every contact. Where every side quest is challenging, interesting, and fills out the story universe with depth.

But will we actually get that? Technology tends to be used to increase breadth rather than depth. Quantity, rather than quality. What we'll get is more of the same, Skyrims with ever bigger and more realistic (but not deeper) worlds, optimized to find the cheapest and easiest way to keep you subscribing.

[broodbucket]

Agree with this, though it's not necessarily about the game and it's more about what you put in and get out.

If you worked hard to improve at Overwatch and your goal was to make it to top 500 on the ladder, or join an amateur team and play in tournaments, etc - it's no longer the same time waster, you have goals to work towards.

Does any of that matter once you stop playing and do something else? Not really, but you can be proud of yourself, or thankful that you learned something about yourself, etc. I suppose it's about being active vs passive.

[whiplash451]

I don't think his/her point is that we should all live an RV life. I think the point is that we should all try to live a fullfilling life. For some of us, it's going to be in an RV. For a lot of us, it could be in a very classical apartment building. However, what you do in this apartment building is (almost) entirely up to you.

[Xeronate]

I'm going to add a second data point of deep regret over time spent gaming and playing sports in high school and college. They contributed negatively to my life and put me so far behind where I could have been socially and intellectually which are things older me cares about immensely and it is unfortunate that I wasn't able to consider the future when I was younger. The idea that all leisure activities are equally valuable is a fallacy in my opinion.

[kirso]

You just described a hindsight bias. They key point here which has already been discussed above is “older you”.

You didnt have that information when you were young and your worldview is fluid.

The idea that you can operate with the same amount of information when you were young with your brain and social circles still in development is a fallacy in itself.

I did think the same way as you only to realize that my caring for intellectual and social stimulation was sparked due to its lack in the past.

You have no guarantee that you would develop it in the first place if you would have taken a different path.

[Jensson]

> They contributed negatively to my life and put me so far behind where I could have been socially and intellectually which are things older me cares about immensely

And even older you likely wont care much at all about those things and think you wasted your life away pursuing those goals instead of enjoying it.

[kirso]

Indeed! A food for thought: https://twitter.com/khemaridh/status/1538899517629640704?s=2...

[ospzfmbbzr]

Yes! When I worked on FB games the internal running joke was our business was stealing people's life a second at a time and monetizing that stolen time. Our game was 'free' like in bait.

GAMES ARE FOR CHILDREN AND A WASTE OF YOUR LIFE :)

Getting outside is the best thing you can do for your health and the dog park next to a busy city street is not going to cut it.

Thinking like "But what if everyone did that?" or "is it fair that not everyone can do that?" are just ways to get you to 'agree' to take away other people's freedom or yours.

[somenameforme]

I'd say there's two elements to fun - how you view it in the immediate, and how you view it further down the road. And given that the further down the road part is something that sticks with you on the order of decades, while the immediate part tends to be on the order of hours, it seems clear to me which should be given priority.

For instance that's why I quit social media (excepting intermittent HN). I really enjoyed it in the shortrun, but I wasn't happy with what I was getting out of it in the longrun. We all convince ourselves we're making an "impact" by expressing ourselves, but I think that's something we all know is just a self delusion - we're just one voice ranting alongside a billion others doing the same. By contrast I've also spent tens of thousands of hours dedicated to chess, and it feels extremely good in both the short and longrun.

[oneoff786]

I suspect a lot of competitive multiplayer games are pyrrhic in retrospect. That is, not necessarily fun to get there but with a promise of fun when you’re at the top, but most people never really get there and so it was just kind of a waste. Especially games where you mostly play strangers and never really see them again.

[ta988]

This sounds like a fallacy to me. If everybody wanted to go see a concert, most people wouldn't get a seat. If everybody wanted to fly tomorrow etc. The good thing in the world is also that bit everyone dreams of the same thing.

[paulpauper]

Playing video games and surfing the web for fun, living with friends and family instead of having a large family and a consumerist lifestyle, would have a smaller footprint

[UweSchmidt]

The video game argument represents some kind of fallacy: A rational actor picks the best form of entertainment which turns out to be video games - how can that be wrong?

However, there are many local minima in entertainment and life and many great things require going through a learning curve and preparation. Even the greatest couch enthusiast can remember, say, a magical moment during a pickup basketball game, and surely those kinds of moments are happening in this city right now...

[jnovek]

Yeah, no.

I would see a pickup basketball game as “pissing my time away”. I don’t like basketball and loathe playing competitive sports.

Further, I really enjoy doing things by myself. I often play video games to challenge myself — it’s me versus a previous version of me.

Just goes to show ya — those “magical moments” are highly personal and defined by the things that give a person joy. And for some folks — like me — that includes video games!

[theptip]

I don’t think the point of the parent comment or the OP is that everyone should RV instead of gaming. It’s that each individual should do what they find fulfilling, now not later because there might not be a later.

I think the reply would be: If you get joy and fulfillment from gaming, do that instead of working really hard to earn money that you don’t need. If you think you’d rather RV than work & play games, go RV now instead of putting it off for later/retirement.

[havblue]

Frankl at least talks about life in terms of the responsibility you take on in your decisions. So in that sense video games are less likely to be meaningful than RVing with your main squeeze.

[magicroot75]

This is the exact thing that happened to remote work.

[philosopher1234]

Is drinking?

It’s easy to delude yourself.

[primax]

It's depressing that this question even had to be asked

[kingkawn]

Yes, it is.

[FollowingTheDao]

> Imagine if 100 million people in the US decided to all at once go RVing around the country. All the areas would be full of RVs and I bet it would not be as enjoyable anymore.

Yes, I call this the "Dave Ramsey Syndrome". You know, he wants everyone to save money and not spend it so they can be debt free and have millions of dollars in the bank. But if everyone did that the economy, our consumer economy, would crash.

And you are right. I have been living in my Van since before the pandemic. It is impossible to find camping spaces now in national parks and even the Wal Marts are starting to get pissed at all the RVs again. These people too, these rich people, sit out on BLM lands longer then allowed, because it is free and they could most likely afford an RV park.

[PaulDavisThe1st]

> I have been living in my Van since before the pandemic. It is impossible to find camping spaces now in national parks and even the Wal Marts are starting to get pissed at all the RVs again

I've been doing #vanlife on and off since 2012. Camping spaces in most national parks were already hard to find most of the time. Municipalities and Walmarts made overnight parking illegal in their lots in many places years or even decades before the pandemic.

What you're describing is real, but not new.

[JKCalhoun]

Come on, who would choose an RV park over BLM land? It's not about the money.

[et-al]

#vanlife definitely has a tragedy of the commons problem.

[caymanjim]

I live my life in a similar way, at least at times. I decided decades ago that I didn't want to work five days a week taking two vacations a year for 20-30 years and then retire comfortably.

Every few years, I take a lot of time off. Months, sometimes over a year. If I plan well, I have money saved and I travel. Every time I do this, it sets me back financially; sometimes I'm completely broke before I start working again. I'd be well-served to balance it a little better, and only blow half my savings before going back to the grind. It's not easy for me to find that balance, and sometimes it's a real struggle.

I have a knack for poor timing (left a job right before the 2001 dotcom crash, left a job right before the 2008 recession, and left my latest job just now, when there appears to be a recession looming). I'm about to set off on a months-long RV trip, and for once I expect to have a decent amount of savings left at the end, and plan on buying a house some time next year. While I like my itinerant lifestyle, it's time to secure a base of operations, too. Something modest, so that it won't prevent me from doing another trip like this in a few years.

It's not for everyone; I get that. I don't think it's a better lifestyle than working hard and retiring in comfort. It's better for me, though.

You're only your current age once. If you wait until you're old, you won't have the same experiences. I'm not willing to deny myself these moments along the way in return for a potential future payoff. So many people die before they get to enjoy the fruits of their labor. It's possible to work full-time and simultaneously live a fulfilling life; I see plenty of people do it. I don't know where they get the energy, though; all I can manage while working is TV, video games, and infrequent weekend activities. Most of the time I feel like all I do is work. Big breaks are what keep me sane.

[paulryanrogers]

Do people who do this have kids?

[prawn]

Depends to what extent. I have three children (4-9yo) and take them out of school now and then to do trips from a week up to three months. When I was a teenager, my parents took our family (us kids were 9-14) to China for three months, and that was an amazing experience for which I'll always be thankful. I carried text books in my luggage.

It is certainly harder and unless home schooling you want a home base/school, but you definitely don't need to be anchored to just school holiday periods. In our area, you file for a school exemption which is reviewed by the principal and, unless your child is lagging, they seem to approve it easily enough. You can find out what they'll miss in class and take materials along for the kids to do as activities.

Our holidays are more adventurous than sitting around a pool (usually roadtrips/hiking/camping) and we constantly talk about what's around us, so holidays are very educational and I don't feel like I'm letting the kids down long-term by pulling them out of school now and then.

Doing more than that though might be disruptive or difficult. You'd need to be travelling prior to school age, home schooling (adds extra workload for the parents) or switching schools/curricula frequently. I know home schooling is not entirely uncommon, but I think there'd be inevitable sacrifices if you were juggling that on top of work and travel.

[JKCalhoun]

Did the kids — nest is empty — time to switch gears on life and live the way I have wanted to for a long time (second best time to plant a tree and all that, you know).

[Cyberdogs7]

I do this and I have kids. We home school and it has been going well. My oldest has spent a few years in various public schools and the education they get through online classes and parental teaching is far superior to a traditional public classroom. They are set to graduate high school at 16, through a GED of course.

[incompatible]

It's easier if you don't.

[_8j50]

Good for you for chasing your dream

[stoxascer]

Chances are that after a certain age you won't have the mental or physical energy to even desire to do all that much.

I know quite a few people who retired quite well off and instead of traveling the world spending all this money as they thought they mostly just watch a lot of TV and sit on their phone. They don't even spend their social security check a month and they are perfectly content with this life.

Many people have confused the reality of old age with marketing from retirement firms and mutual funds.

[ok_coo]

It's a funny thing. I thought that I would have regrets playing World of Warcraft for years of my life, but looking back, I really enjoyed my time playing it even when it felt a little monotonous. I played from 2005-2007 pretty hardcore. No regrets.

I think you would have enjoyed either path you took. I've second-guessed some of my past choices and I'm not sure I would be happier than I am now, or a better person.

[kvark]

I believe it’s the story games that fit under “living” definition of the article - you merge the story experience into your life, making it richer. But online/MOBAs are more of a waste, at least for me.

[FollowingTheDao]

You are just living your own meme. You got into RVing when the whole meme was taking off, #Vanlife! You were told you want a different kind of life. All the people not living your "different life" are working at the jobs you left and are supplying you with the things you need to live a "different life".

And you all talk about "wasting life" like at the end when you die you get to do something with it all with all the time you did not waste. You are still pissing time away, all you did was give your self meaning and that makes it feel like you are not.

“True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing. The greatest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach. A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not.” ― Seneca

[IncRnd]

"For men in a state of freedom had thatch for their shelter, while slavery dwells beneath marble and gold." ― Seneca

[throwaway98797]

Seneca also lived in comfort, so do as I say not as I do

[nnoitra]

Why so jealous though.

[eikenberry]

Where do you get jealous?

[FollowingTheDao]

Oh pay this comment no mind.

I have found that people who are greedy will often lob this comment at people who expose the truth and foolishness of their greed. It is the only way they can tell themselves that what they are doing is the correct way to live and anyone who criticizes them is just "jealous".

[throwaway98797]

i get bitterness not jealousy

don’t worry, be happy

[FollowingTheDao]

I’m not bitter, I’m upset that the world is being destroyed by greed.

[s5300]

Probably has something to do with how much time he’s spent “following the DAO”

[JKCalhoun]

Certainly not the response I expected from someone following the Tao.

[FollowingTheDao]

Why?

[FollowingTheDao]

No answer, of course.

[tima101]

Similar story here. We traveled with my wife for 3.5 years. Then we built homestead on 30 acres of forest land in rural WA. Now I am 36 and we bought land in HI to build our second homestead. And it is from scratch again! Most of our income comes from freelance gigs. The last time I visited big city was over 10 years ago. No regrets here.

I think the best framework is to not compare yourself to others. And fear of change is a normal, ordinary feeling. Comparing to others makes no sense, just try to do things that YOU will not regret and things that make you happy in long term.

[foobarian]

How does raising kids work in this kind of regimen? How do you ensure they have a big social pool available to build peer relationships?

[Cyberdogs7]

Home schooling was a requirement for us. Having a social pool has never been a problem, as our kids learn to make friends really quickly and continue to keep in contact via g-chat and email once we part ways. Living like this, you tend to find lots of others in a similar lifestyle, so the kids are all very well adapted.

[tima101]

No kids for now but we are making plans. My wife is younger than me and we are planning to have kids in the next 1-2 years. Before we have kids we will decide and settle in one place. We will probably keep our second homestead since we are emotionally attached to it.

[JKCalhoun]

Love to hear any thoughts you have on homesteading in Washington state. Specifically, areas you think are good.

For some reason I am attracted to the south-eastern area that is drier. Forests say "fire" to me (and I also love the sun too much to be "enclosed" by a forest).

North and/or high altitudes say "cold" to me.

[tima101]

Yes, we are North-East, not far from Canadian border. A lot of snow, cold winters. We haven't lived in SE WA but visited the area you mentioned 3-4 times. The area between Pullman and, say, Kennewick. Way fewer trees, lower altitude but winters are less cold and less snowy. I would say there is no perfect place. Once you checked your main checkboxes, paradise is a state of mind, not place itself. You will have hot summers. We are at higher altitude, I have tractor primarily for snow but summers are much cooler. And we like cooler summers. This June was mostly at 68-75F, our german shepherd and I love it. I talked to a person from Texas and he mentioned 90-95F in May and 95-100F in June - no, thank you very much. We even bought land in HI at 3000 ft elevation to have 75F in summer and 72F in winter for the same reason.

South-East WA will have hotter summers, no shade from trees and every time we visited it was windy. having said that rolling hills are beautiful, farmers are nice, some healthy rivers for fishing. Pullman and Moscow have shopping and amenities.

[JKCalhoun]

Yes, but we are comparing ourselves to you right now and feeling the wanderlust.

[saiya-jin]

2 words for the path in the middle (sort of, at least for me) - adrenaline sports. I don't say which exactly should work for likes of others, that's kind of unique to each of us. For me its climbing, paragliding, skiing/ski touring, a bit of alpinism. Plus diving when near corals, also serious hiking.

Apart from making me properly happy (and some of those are easily post-work ones if you don't have kids, like climbing or paraglide depending on your place), they keep me amazingly fit, which is source of long lasting content from oneself. Vacations spent backpacking in crazy exotics (mostly south east asia) help too.

I can do boring and uninspiring software dev office job that pays the bills and some more (seldom intertwined with nice creative part when actually solving interesting problems, rather than drowning in processes and politics). It doesn't dent the content/happiness part a slightest bit.

Also numerous side effects - one starts eating healthier. Any kind of gaming addiction I had before was cured too, now its just waste of life that repulses me (not making critique - if that's your real kick I guess go for it, but I can't anymore).

There is one slight problem with this, although it otherwise worked me 100% for past 10 years - if you get kids and are not utter sellfish a-hole, you will lose most of this, at least for some (long) time. Positive side is, one day you will be one hell of inspiration for them. Other source of issues is accident - time off everything, for longer, can be depressive.

Talking as proud parent of two small kiddos who exhausted me during WFH to max, and who after 4 month recovery of messed up wrist broke his foot in kindergarten and is on crutches at least for next 6 weeks of amazing summer. I think right now the lowest point in my whole life so far due to all above. But that means it will only go up, eventually. Life is funny.

[unemphysbro]

Are you me? I've been slowly getting into alpinism in the Sierras and looking into getting my p2 cert. (I'd love to combine the two...imagine climbing in the palisades then paragliding or base jumping off )

I regrettably spent my 20s in academia and now I'm in tech and actually afford these hobbies. I'd love to have kids but I'm pushing it off because as you mentioned, it seems selfish.

I'm thinking about a SEA climbing holiday during the winter. I'm eyeing Vietnam. Do you have any favorite locale?

[saiya-jin]

I am from Europe, so probably can't recommend anything useful for you. But if you ever come by Geneva, Switzerland, we have fine indoor and outdoor places. Next one could be Chamonix, any climb when you have glaciated giants 3800m higher than valley is pretty nice.

[et-al]

Step foot into any climbing gym in the Bay Area, and at least 50% of the folks there are SWEs. Probably the same with improv groups. We're not that unique. ;)

[xur17]

I started getting into skiing a few years ago, and within the last year have started climbing. I seriously enjoy it, but how do you get over the constant fear of a permanent debilitating injury? I've mostly rationalized this away by doing everything I can do stay safe (equipment, partners, not pushing the limits too hard), and realizing that life is here to be lived, but still..

[saiya-jin]

If you do sport climbing with bolts drilled and glued in rock or in gyms, the chances of bad injury are super tiny, and sprained ankle would be the worst possible outcome. It never happened to me, and I overshot my level by mistake few times. The more you gain experience, the less the risk.

One thing that usually helps with fear is actually exposing yourself to it rather than avoiding it - you are afraid to fall. Find safe overhang (or vertical if unavailable) ie in gym, and just fall in it. Then fall again. Practice technique - push yourself from the wall with legs during fall, not too much just to avoid contact.

Its just like SIV course in paragliding - you learn about bad situations that can happen and how to handle them by getting into them on purpose (and then either managing them or throwing reserve, usually all done above lake for extra safety). This allows you to progress further faster and gain confidence in you and your wing.

At one point, its your choice - push things always to the max for whatever reason, or just enjoy good climb that can be challenging (or not) but not scary. Progress happens on both, usually a bit less on latter.

For me, I cut off all chasing for higher difficulties, if my skill drops I enjoy the challenge of trivial routes again. And even non-challenging climb is a very fine experience for me and that's enough (especially now).

Previously, I enjoyed actually overcoming of that ever-present fear as the best part of climbing, building character and shaping personality. I do honestly believe in it, I mean you expose yourself for 2-4 hours to acute (even if baseless, but your brain doesn't recognize it) fear of death, and you continuously overcome it to achieve your goal. If that doesn't teach you about yourself, nothing will.

[xur17]

> If you do sport climbing with bolts drilled and glued in rock or in gyms, the chances of bad injury are super tiny, and sprained ankle would be the worst possible outcome. It never happened to me, and I overshot my level by mistake few times. The more you gain experience, the less the risk.

I've just started to do sport climbing (like within the past 2 weeks), and my biggest fear is a screwup (equipment, amount of slack given out, belay device, etc) that results in me not getting caught. My mother likes to remind me that her friend's son was paralyzed from falling in a climbing gym (but unfortunately I do not have the details), which certainly doesn't help my fear. This fear isn't stopping me from doing anything, so to some extent I do think it's helpful / healthy since it's reminding me to be careful and limit my risks as much as possible.

That said, even just top rope climbing has significantly helped my fear of heights. Went hiking this past weekend, and I'm definitely more comfortable near cliff edges, etc (still fearful of falling, but not in a debilitating way).

> At one point, its your choice - push things always to the max for whatever reason, or just enjoy good climb that can be challenging (or not) but not scary. Progress happens on both, usually a bit less on latter.

This is a really good point, and something I do try and adjust for in both climbing and skiing. I like to improve, and push myself, but this is something I'd prefer to do for a long time, so I lean on the side of not pushing to hard and limiting risk whenever possible.

[ramraj07]

It is interesting how much everyone thinks these are the only two alternatives though. You can live an extremely fulfilling life out of the most boring Phoenix suburb, and you could (probably very easily) live a life with no meaning out of the most rustic cabin you can imagine.

[sizzle]

Kinda impossible to do this with kids on the way, please blog your journey I will live vicariously through you. Also will donate coffee money often.

[prawn]

Actually, one period that suits a flexible lifestyle is from around 1yo until formal schooling starts. Could start earlier if you weren't fussy about consistent doctor/program/country for checkups and immunisations.

Generally, flights are cheaper before they 2yo. Food is cheaper for small kids. Accommodation is easier. Go now!

We did a trip to Europe and Morocco with our first child before he was 1. When our third was about the same age, we gutted/converted a bus and drove around the US for 2-3 months. Both of us have had fairly normal jobs throughout, and the three kids have had a pretty typical educational pathway (bit of childcare, kindergarten, school).

It gets harder the deeper into school they go IMO.

[RileyJames]

Nice! I’m going to live by this wisdom. I’ve done plenty of solo/partner travel in the past, but with a kid on the way, I thought those days might be over.

But you’re saying I have 5 precious years left. I will spend them wisely. Thank you!

[prawn]

You have more than five years, but realistically five years of being able to do long trips without fretting about school hassles. How you survive long trips with a young kid is a different thing! At the early ages, you are travelling largely for yourselves, and the children are challenging baggage. Can be helpful to time trips when you're paying out most for childcare ($100+/day where we are) rather than public kindergarten/school which are cheaper.

From 3-4+ they'll have fond memories of your adventures so the balance shifts to the holiday serving all of you.

We have 4-9yo and are about to do a 2-3 month trip. This will be the first major trip where all three of them will have a decent idea of where we are, what we're doing, and the memories of each place.

You have to make the travel happen though otherwise the routine of schooling and work will have its way!

[sizzle]

Super cool, I bet they really enjoyed the adventure. Hats off to you for taking the road less traveled.

[xialvjun]

Marx has said: "Creative labor has become the primary need of life". I don't know if it's the original words, I translated it from Chinese. You think spending 7 years to build your own house is better than to play video games. But what if to create a video game? Creating a video game is too hard? How about to just write game reviews and walkthroughs in detail and combine them into a book. It's not that you think building a house is more meaningful than playing video games. It's that you want to create, but your job didn't give you a chance to create or what you create doesn't belong to you.

[tomcam]

Fantastic, and congratulations! We did roughly what you’re doing but backwards, and still had a lot of fun doing it.

However, I’m deeply envious that you can just drill a well. I live in Seattle, where drilling the well requires that you blow the mayor, bribe an inspector or two, buy what they call “mitigating” land someplace else in the state, and sacrifice a goat. And after you found a suitable plot for the well, a $1 million drill has to be towed onto the property to make sure ground is preserved.

Where are you living this beautiful life of you’re?

[poulsbohemian]

Head east. Or west. There are lots of wonderful places outside the I-5 corridor where I would argue our quality of life is at least on par. Different, and perhaps with fewer economic opportunities, but nonetheless a very high quality of life.

[selimthegrim]

Not sure you can technically blow this mayor but I digress

[tomcam]

I may have indulged in a wee bit of hyperbole

[PaulDavisThe1st]

Drilling a well in the city of Seattle ? Why would anyone ever do that?

[tomcam]

Technically rural Redmond, a neighboring city. I bought some of the vanishing farmland.

[ip26]

Give it a year or two, you’ll be surrounded by apartments and then hookup will be easy

[tomcam]

* yours not you’re. Thanks, Siri

[foobarian]

I'd love to read the exit interview of your kids when they get to 30. Did anyone else go through this with their parents? Would you/are you changing anything as a result?

[fullshark]

There’s a documentary called Surfwise about the adult children of a couple who lived in an RV and traveled from beach to beach surfing waves and not doing much in terms of education.

They were various degrees of maladjusted if I remember correctly.

[foobarian]

Right, the Paskowitz family. I thought the father was an especial hypocrite having grown up in a well off family and having attended Stanford.

[incompatible]

I think you are supposed to be writing philosophy, not wasting time building a house that will be destroyed some day (footnote 16).

[ricardobayes]

I don't subscribe to the idea of being always productive either. Humans need 'play time', whether that's a video game, bingo, or playing the lottery. I saw people in my circle ignore this and pretty much all of them became depressed.

[foobiekr]

two of my uncles did this - plumbers until 50, then RV life for 20 years, then built houses. as a kid they were my heroes. older, I am not so sure it worked out, but they had a good time for a while.

[frereubu]

What part(s) of it don't you think worked out with the benefit of hindsight?

[foobiekr]

Once they aged out of the RV lifestyle, they found themselves kind of rootless and wanting a permanent place that they had kind of grown into.

It’s honestly hard to say. I don’t think they would go back and change it, but it has its downsides. Especially for my aunts because they will outlive their husbands and find themselves needing to build a social network. I mean also true for the husbands, but they will not outlive.

[frereubu]

Thanks. I often wonder about this. My mother is in her nineties and refuses to move to be closer to me and my family because she has a supportive community around her (including people decades younger than her). It makes my life more difficult as I have to drop everything and drive if there's a medical scare, which there have been a few of in the last few years, but I completely get how the community structure around her in many ways makes her day-to-day life easier and more fulfilling.

[whiplash451]

Kudos for living this kind of life. Inspiring for all of us.

[nnoitra]

are you happy?

[iasay]

Definitely subjective. Sounds like hell to me. But i respect anyone with enough energy to actually do something.

[mattgreenrocks]

I'd replace happy with content there.

Happiness comes and goes. Contentment runs a bit deeper and gets at it what this article talks about.

[IncRnd]

Not the OP, but I did something very similar with my wife and daughter a few years ago. Each day was more enjoyable than the last, especially with the RV. That was the most enjoyable time, and that enjoyment came from just existing and taking things as they come. There was never any monotony.

[hexo]

what is RVing?

[jschulenklopper]

Traveling and living in a recreational vehicle (RV). Often a motorhome or camper, sometimes a boat.