[55555]

Honestly I get that rights are important and worth fighting over, but from a practical perspective, if you want to have an abortion, what’s wrong with just ordering abortion pills online and taking them? That pretty much solves the problem, right? Just curious.

[MandieD]

Ok, “just curious,” there’s something called an ectopic pregnancy. You cannot be sure that’s why you’re bleeding and in pain, so in a normal place like Germany (where I had mine) or pretty much anywhere in the US before this Friday, you would go to your gyno or the emergency room to see what’s going on. If it really is a fetus that implanted itself in your Fallopian tubes or somewhere else where it will slowly bleed you to death, it must be removed medically (my and most early cases) or surgically. Depending on location, it either could never or is highly unlikely to result in an infant that could survive outside your body in any form.

If it’s in your uterus, either you’ll have the option of intervening to try keeping the pregnancy going (if the doctor thinks that’s even possible), or, more likely, be sent home with painkillers and encouraging words about “trying again”.

In Texas, my home state, I would be very hesitant to make that visit, for fear it wasn’t ectopic and that I was exposing myself to, at the very least, a rather physically and psychologically invasive and expensive investigation into whether I induced the miscarriage.

[55555]

Thanks for the info. Some of the people online claiming to just be curious actually are just curious. For other readers, the prevalence of ectopic pregnancy is 1 in 50 pregnancies which is surprisingly high.

I see how once the pregnancy is officially confirmed, intentionally causing a miscarriage would be scary/risky.

[MandieD]

Honest curiosity is refreshing. Additional info: once a woman has had an ectopic pregnancy, any subsequent pregnancy has about a 10% risk of also being ectopic.

So when I had a big early 40th birthday surprise, I went straight to my gyno for her to make sure it wasn’t going to be a repeat - especially since we already had plans to visit my family back in Texas a few weeks after that. Then, the concern was merely financial/logistical. Now…

The (mostly) happy ending: a boringly normal pregnancy that left me with lingering back pain and numbness in some toes, and the most wonderful little boy that I’d given up on having years before.

[fatherzine]

Worth noting that the abortion rate is 1 in 5 pregnancies. Roughly 10x the rate of ectopic pregnancies.

Note: Thanks both of you for engaging in a respectful conversation.

[escape_goat]

If anyone — say, the doctor who told you you were pregnant — has evidence that you were pregnant, you could be investigated and charged with a crime for suddenly not being pregnant. This has ALREADY happened to at least one woman who was simply suffering a natural miscarriage.