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I share your perspective. Ultimately, I see the situation as somewhat analogous to having a professional work on your house. You rely on their expertise to direct what is and isn't essential, and really lack any ability to measure the outcome (e.g. is this harder wearing material or building technique really worth the extra time and money).

Again, as you say, I think the solution is simply to develop trust with the stakeholders to whom you're trying to sell the ideas. Technical leads - in a unique position of understanding the costs and the benefits - must be vigilant to bat away the spurious claims that certain topics (such as those you mention) require addressing, as trust lost is difficult to recoup.