"they're supposed to monitor for every startup founder they ever rejected to pop up a few years later is retarded."
If they are interested in the information they can get the information as it is out there. So they shouldn't put any effort in? Poor them. So many applicants. So much work to cross reference.
"The over 4k applications they see use HN usernames."
People don't use their real names on applications?
For each founder, please list: YC username; name; age
You're the one that said CrunchBase.
The idea that they're supposed to monitor for every startup founder they ever rejected to pop up a few years later is retarded.