[rrrodia]

Look into cognitive therapy / rebt, go see a therapist, and read up on it yourself. You can see it as a valuable activity both on a personal level, for your future and your family, as for your professional future. So appreciate working on that aspect of life! (ask for a certification from your therapist, jk :P)

Because it seems like you need to reframe things. There is enough uncertainty in the world as it is. You are doing a commendable job it seems for yourself and your family, but you can't control everything. A little less thinking in opposites would go a long way. You seem to be chasing certainty.

Why not allocate some time to work on a social cause? Don't worry about optimization, just start with doing something. Also nothing wrong with 'just' taking care of your own family, they are an important part of this world too!