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by necessary 1461 days ago
Honestly there's not much to worry about a "skill-gap" either. It's cliche but being the true and authentic version of yourself (and being self-aware if you need to make improvements on that version of yourself - your authentic self can't be a jerk) is the best way to make both friends and romantic partners. Maybe it's different for hookups, but IMHO romantic relationships don't work like they do in the movies.
3 comments

I think the skill-gap is not really in being in a romantic relationship but getting one. The skills of being in a successful relationship are similar to the skills of having close friends imo, just more intense. You need to handle conflicts and keep the relationship going. But relationships usually don't last forever, they tend to end. The skill to develop a romantic relationship, from start to finish, is quite important and hard to learn. I think this is where a lot of the skill-gap is located.
I think there’s an enormous skill gap. Not the dumb hookup artist skill tree, but the basic social skills and empathy one.
>and being self-aware if you need to make improvements on that version of yourself - your authentic self can't be a jerk

So, you need to be yourself... but you actually don't.

No, you need to be yourself, and recognize that sometimes you need to make yourself better. Not lie about being better, but actually get better.