[dirtybirdnj]

Hello person with my same struggle yet different username. I feel you 110% on this one.

There is a completely demoralizing sense that my career has "evaporated" and none of my achievements, accomplishments or jobs have any worth.

It has caused me to become incredibly bitter, resentful and angry at the world. I don't know how to turn the trauma of this mistreatment and abandonment into a happy "this is ok" face for the world.

[zmz88]

Hello!

I just really don't understand how the industry adopted these ridiculous practices. I'm lucky that I get a ton of recruiters reaching out once I toggled my LinkedIn to say I'm open, but I don't understand what they expect other than me to say "I guess I'll message you in 3 months after I take on an unpaid second job of learning how to write algorithms I never once used in the last 15+ years of my engineering career to solve problems that are meant to just trick me". You would think they'd want to make it so that engineers did have the option of evaluating other companies at any time, rather than having to prepare endlessly. If I decide I want a new job now (which I did a few weeks ago), I can't do anything about it for a while (unless I'm one of those who practices LC all week rather than learning much more useful things).

No point in ranting further about this.. everyone is well aware.

There's of course some companies that don't subject you to this nonsense, but the list is really limited, and just finding out who they are has taken me many weeks and many phone calls. But a month of that plus trying to "learn" everything required for all of these interviews has made me burnt out and bitter (just like you said). I don't want to jump through these ridiculous hoops and play this stupid game... but what's the alternative?

[dirtybirdnj]

My current strategy is lowering my expectations and being willing to engage in different work.

What you are describing that I feel in the same boat on is the impossible whack a mole game we are trying to play. It's like a dart board on an always moving target.

It's impossible to catch that objective, you just need to practice / focus on what you are good at and try to look for opportunities that need these skills. It's hard for me because I don't want to work with PHP anymore, but I get a lot of recruiter spam for it. Maybe I could even be ok with a PHP dev based job if the people and structure around the work was reasonable and humane.

My goal right now is to focus on my strengths, try not to be too self-critical when the few opportunities I do see don't match up. It's a waiting game I just wish there was more that I could do proactively.

[niuzeta]

I'm currently going through this right now. I gave myself a month to "study" for the tech interviews, but I find myself demotivated and can't muster the time or the effort to go through them. I'd do one or two Leetcode problems, but that's it.

Hopefully things get better.

[LouisSayers]

I've also been through the "Everyone in the world sucks" phase and I do still think that to a certain degree lol but I also feel more in tune with analysing myself and emotions when I have such thoughts.

For instance, I notice that I might get angry that a person driving didn't see me at a pedestrian crossing. But what's the point in being angry? Why should I let that person "put me" in a bad mood?

I believe the trick is to recognise your emotions, what you can control and what you can't. Does it make sense to be angry at things beyond your control?

Also I've come to understand that the brain is fed what we give it. What you feed it through media, television, the people around you - these all affect it. We should ideally fiercly guard what our brain is fed. Thinking about this I started to notice how much people drink in movies / TV and how it made me feel like drinking too. It's a bit like "the five people you surround yourself most with" idea.

I'm still a work in progress, and hopefully some of what I've mentioned can help you on your own journey.

Leetcode is difficult for sure, but I do think it's good in many ways - at least it exists, you know it's necessary and the way I see it, it's kind of like having the answers to the exam!

Is it fair people make you go through this hazing process? No, but unless you have some better ideas, if it's truly the only thing between you and what you want, then maybe it's time to reframe it in your mind - what are some good things that could come out of it?

I know it's hard when "the world fucking sucks", but I'm sure there's also a part of you that enjoys learning and doing puzzles. Maybe it's time to tap back into that side of you. Take your time.

[edmcnulty101]

This is why I Love technology but dislike the tech industry.

[dirtybirdnj]

Simple and concise.

I love programming but I hate the gatekeepers who stand in the way of my autonomy. They think they know better but if they did, they wouldn't need to hire engineers in the first place. Product people can be amazing guiding lights in the dark but they can also be the most cancerous self-indulgent babies ever.