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There are main personality traits that are associated with being not nice:

1. Being a know-it-all

2. Unwilling to admit mistakes

3. Not collaborative

4. Not sharing knowledge

5. Unwilling to be coached

There are many more. These “not nice” traits are the same ones that will lead to stunting your growth as a software engineer.

[BlargMcLarg]

Except people are incredibly bad judges of character. Naming the traits is the easiest part. Realizing these traits aren't binary and not as easy to judge in the open as they are in a vacuum, not so much. Meanwhile, the people in charge are all to eager to pass "not a team player" judgments over something far more complex than "not nice".

This also needs a fair reminder, people suck at communicating.