[libertine]

>I vaguely resent the implication that wanting things is so rarely coming from endogenous desire of self-fulfillment for purely self-motivated reasons rather than sourced from some other source of power or peers.

You have no way of knowing what is truly endogenous desire, from what's not - even if you perceive it, after some reflection, that it's endogenous... the reality it that it just might not be.

A chunk of us is a product of what surrounded and surrounds us. It's the human condition.

So I maybe the exercise you should do is to accept your humanity? The fact that you are human and that's doesn't have to be a bad thing, to the point of being resented about it. You can see it as a constrain, but it can also be a source of freedom once you accept it.