[adepressedthrow]

This is essentially me, though I'm not day trading and I'm not sure how much better I feel since quitting. I am young, but I spent all of my time up until a year ago doing the best I could to understand what makes good products and how to write great software. This has made me a de facto leader in any team I've joined, including straight out of college. Now I have the work experience to be "senior" (whatever that means), but I've never had the mentorship or fact checking that I think reaching such a position requires.

I still don't feel ready to find a job, but I have no idea how I will ever hold one. Leading is so wearing, and I'm already in such a delicate mental state.

I hope you find where you want to be. For me, I think I _need_ to be where I feel I'm bringing some positive benefit to the world, and I hope that at some point I can find a way to both build good OSS and make some money doing it.