[tsuujin]

You’re downplaying the enormous social pressures that are used to make these things happen. I describe it as a cult because that’s what it effectively is; the tech leaders bring in young, impressionable people and throw money at them, and provide an environment that seems welcoming and safe. Then they start manipulating them.

“Don’t you want us to succeed?”

“What do you mean you’re working too hard? Steve is really counting on you to get this done, and Carol has been working late nights for a month. You don’t want to let them down do you?”

“We need this new technology to succeed, you’re so smart that I’m sure you can figure it out over the weekend.”

It’s all bullshit, but there is a method to all of it. I fell victim to it and so did many others that I know. Honestly, if it wasn’t for my family I would probably still be suckered in, but when I no longer had time to be a father anymore it gave me a reality check.

[travisathougies]

Sure... I've been the subject of this for sure. However here are two options

(1) Leave the company. There are plenty of companies that don't do this. Just keep changing jobs till you find one

(2) Make sure you defensively program to keep yourself out of emergencies. That means doing your work on time, and if you're not consistently capable of that, then waiting before taking on more work.

I'm not saying be a social pariah. Just introspect once in a while and adjust from there.

[dubswithus]

3) Refuse to be on call

[travisathougies]

I've not worked a job with on call for many years now. Highly recommend. I am not an infra engineer. They would have to pay me a lot more to be.