[prawn]

Email them after something has been launched: "Hey - design of that new contact form looks great!" Find little excuses to be complimentary. Or if there's slim, existing rapport, ask a couple of people for feedback. If you don't get much in return, try others.

[vicda]

Thanks for the response! Kneejerkingly that feels weird, but that's surely because I've never been apart of cold emails/messages like that. I guess I just have to make that part of my new normal.

[prawn]

I think a key is not to try or push too hard. It's lighthearted and casual. You're not measuring any attempt for success or getting despondent if no one cares - you're just being sociable and ultimately should eventually make connections or develop rapport. Unless you are seriously unlikeable, people will remember those that give them feedback or are nice to them without being transparent in trying to get something for themselves.

And if you're not naturally sociable, convince yourself that this is the type of person you have chosen to be. "I'm the type of person that makes these small efforts."

I always think of it in basketball/coaching terms. If there's a non-shooter at the top of the key and the coaching instruction is to sag off them, don't react instinctively and rush out to defend. Just stick to the process and the odds are that over time the smart method plays to your advantage. Don't get upset if people don't reply (they might be busy, for one thing) and don't overwhelm them with replies if they do.

[vicda]

I'm very social in person, it's just the "cold email" part of it that is off putting for me. There's no observable social norm around this from my perspective. You can be a wallfly at an event and pick up norms, but you can't do that will chat/email. Maybe it's a generational gap thing, but the only times I get that type of interaction is from vendors who want something, group emails, or it's from someone I already know quite well.