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Psychiatry observes that in the 20s, most people cannot see their own failures, but in their 30s, most people can. Think about someone you know who is around your age, and who you knew in your and their early 20s. Now, imagine them creating something that's fit to their personality. Programming, cooking, writing, whatever. Assume that what they created is pretty good for them, and fairly good for everyone. My personal experience with people suggests that the 20s version will be exaggeratedly proud, whereas the 30s person will be asking contemporaries for advice on how to improve. My personal belief is that this is driven by the 20 year old thinking the work is genuinely great, and the 30 year old thinking "geez, I could do better than this, have I been wasting my talent?" I would wager that it's likely that you're simply becoming more discerning. It's unsettling, but positive, in the net. Genuine cognitive decline is currently believed by medical science to kick in in the late 40s or early 50s for most people. Another significant possibility is sleep quality, which for some people declines drastically in the 30s (often tied to weight.) Sleep quality has a huge amount to do with cognitive performance. Do you wake up tired a lot? Do you snore? Have you ever been checked for sleep apnea, which a little over a third of humanity has? My getting a CPAP really deeply changed my mental state. My doctor said that they thought I hadn't had a genuinely good sleep in more than a decade. It takes about a month to start feeling okay again. It is genuinely worth talking to a good doctor about this. They will be much better than the wisdom of the crowds. |