[runjake]

+1. For people without kids yet, pay close attention to this comment. If you have big dreams, better get on them now.

For OP's #3 question: Reducing inputs has helped me tremendously. You don't need to pay attention to everything. You don't need to stay abreast of everything.

[codingdave]

The capacity nosedive from having kids goes away as they grow up and become independent. And the coping skills you learned to deal with having less energy become almost super powers once your energy comes back. Likewise, the skill of having dealt with children through all ages and stages makes it easier to relate to difficult co-workers. I'm not saying work is easier once your kids are older... but your capacity to manage the work and deal with challenges definitely bounces back higher than it started before having kids.

So I'd say follow your dreams early, or follow them late. Just don't try them at the same time as raising kids.

[runjake]

Thanks for posting this. My kids are getting to their teens and the fog is lifting somewhat.

I couldn't think of an elegant way to mention that and suggest that OP should still attempt to maintain their mental faculties (nutrition, sleep, reading, learning within capabilities), so they aren't caught with their proverbial pants down when the kids get older.

[radicalbyte]

Glad it's not just me. Kids are my kryptonite. I was superman, now I'm normal man. Thankfully there's a lot more to building systems than the pure code skills and those skills are greatly boosted by having kids (multi-tasking, communicating!) but the change is jarring.

I now understand why my father and his father's generation forced the women to stay at home with the kids.