[rhelsing]

I'm sorry to hear you're struggling. I've definitely been here a handful of times.

Hope and Help for your Nerves by Claire Weekes is the single best resource I have found for for learning to cope with Anxiety long term. I come back to it any time I find myself in similar patterns to what you describe.

Self compassion is another key coping tool. Being hard on yourself when you are in this state only makes things worse.

I highly recommend finding a therapist (I prefer ACT but traditional CBT is good too) and/or finding medication that works for you. The process of finding the right medication takes time, and cannot be rushed. Often, finding a Direct Primary Care provider trained in integrative medicine and is able to take the time to work with you as you are finding medication that works for you is a smoother path than going to the first psychiatrist you find on google IMO.

Just remember that everyone struggles like this at some point in their life. It is virtually unavoidable. Try to be kind to yourself in this time as you would a good friend. With patience and the right help, you will get past it.